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I sniffled. “Me too.”
“You know what?”I grabbed Trish’s arm as she pulled on the door handle of Dino’s. “I’m not ready to see him yet. I need a minute to process.”
She looked proud of me for facing my feelings and hugged me hard. “If you need me, I’m here.”
“I know.” I vowed to myself to be a better friend and not let our lives get in the way of talking like they had lately. I needed her.
“Promise me you’ll be at the wedding. It’s a big ask, but I can’t get married without you.” If they were getting married on Saturday, I could fly down Friday night. Hayden might let me take Friday off, so I could get there earlier.I can do that.
“Promise.” I squeezed her. “Call you later.”
I kissed Ella and waved goodbye, my heart heavy as I wandered home. Holt hadn’t breathed a word of a wedding or Wyoming. I understood the wedding part. That was Trish’s news to share. But he’d had almost a week to saysomethingabout the trip, yet he’d been silent. Silent through every lunch. While he made love to me. As he held me in his arms every night.
We were taking it slow, learning to trust, but this cut to the quick. He couldn’t have known that his actions would affect me even deeper because of the way my family had treated me when I needed them most. I hadn’t told him about any of that. And maybe he needed time too. I could give him that as long as we were honest. I was willing to give him a chance to open up, even it if was just a little.
“Easy?”
I remained still in the darkness, staring out the windows from my position on the floor. His footsteps passed through the kitchen down the hallway and back.
Keys rattled as he picked them up and dropped them on the counter. My phone rang from inside my purse as he no doubt tried to call me.
“Easy?” The panic in his voice bumped up a notch. His boots thudded on the hardwoods as he rounded the sofa. I hugged my knees to my chest and rested my chin on them. “Trish said you weren’t feeling well.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about Wyoming?” The words came out in a flat tone. I wanted to scream at him.
“I—” He stood there as if he couldn’t figure out what to say.
“Were you ever going to?” I carried on, all my hurt coming out in a rush. “Were you going to ask me to go? Or at least talk to me about it?”
His silence stretched long and thick between us. I waited.Why were these questions so hard for him to answer?
“No.”
How could two letters be so painful?
“Then I can’t do this anymore.” Somehow I managed to make that sound normal, instead of strangled, the way I felt.
“Can’t do what?” he asked carefully.
I waved my hand between us. “This.” He stared at me, and I struggled to articulate what was in my head. “You purposely excluded me from something important in your life. That’s happened to me before and I—I can handle you needing to talk about things in your own time. Iunderstandthat because I feel it myself. But you could’ve told me you were going, even if you didn't want me to take the trip with you.”
He plowed his hands through his hair. “I told you I can’t talk about Wyoming.”
“And I told you I’m not asking you to right now. That’s not fair when there are things I’m not willing to open up about either. But if I needed to take a trip back to DC, I would’ve mentioned it.” I went to the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of water, desperate to do something to dampen the intensity.
My hands shook as I unscrewed the cap and took a sip.
“You lived in Washington, DC?”
That’s what he picked up out of everything I said?
“Yes.” There were only a handful of people who knew that. People I trusted implicitly. I thought Holt could’ve been in that circle too one day.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t handle this well, but I’m still just not able to talk about Wyoming. It would be too hard for you to be there.”
I nearly choked. “You don't want me to go to my best friend's wedding?”
He glanced away. “I didn’t say that.”
