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“Um, Lincoln?” Teague scratched his head. “How are we all going to fit in my truck?”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Lexie
“We can’t haveblack flowers at a wedding.”
Beau elbowed me at the suggestion. I shrugged. Maybe I should’ve skipped the wedding planning today. My mood was not in the right place for happy occasions.
“What about baby blue?” She pointed to an image in the bridal books I had no idea where she’d come up with. “It’s a foreshadowing of all the baby boys you and Teague are going to have.”
Pepper paled. “I think we have enough four-legged children.”
“I could be a grandma,” Miss Adeline said cheerfully before she frowned. “But that might cramp my social schedule.”
“Your social schedule consists of walking dogs and ogling firemen.”
“Fine. Have some kids. I’ll fit them in.” The old woman shrugged.
Pepper closed her eyes as if praying for patience, but there was a smile teasing her lips.
“Teague will make a great dad.” Beau elbowed me again. “Lincoln will too. Just hope neither of you have girls. They’ll never date.”
“Excuse me.” I pushed back from the table and rushed to the restroom. Once I was safely inside, I leaned over the sink and blew out a long breath.
I couldn’t think about Lincoln as a father because if it happened, he’d be doing it with someone other than me. All the anger that I had toward him was slowly shifting to pain.
I loved him and hated him at the same time.
And I hadn’t exactly fought for him when he’d pushed me away. I completely understood his motivation. I’d been tempted to take that route myself.
Things had been much safer before Lincoln had stormed into our lives. He’d disrupted our routine. He’d forced us to allow another person in. He’d showed us how seamlessly he fit.
And just how quickly he could disappear.
I dreaded going back to the old apartment. Not because it was the size of a shoe box and not as nice as Lincoln’s. I wasn’t even scared someone related to my parents would show up.
It wouldn’t have him.
How could someone so silent have such a profound presence?
It was impossible not to notice when Lincoln was in the room . . . and when he was not.
Who would make fun of my puffy sweatshirt? Or come over for emergency ice cream? And how was I going to tell Eric?
We couldn’t have an arrangement where they still saw one another. I wasn’t sure if Lincoln wanted that, but I wasn’t capable of doing it. There had to be a clean break or I’d never survive.
Because I’d know what I was missing. He’d just be too blind to see what he’d given up.
I hung my head. Who was I kidding? I’d be aware every second of every day what I was missing whether I ever saw him again or not.
I’d just have to focus on our business and—I might have to give up Grey Paws. It was too risky that I’d run into Lincoln.
And Beau.
I wouldn’t make her choose between her brother and me. That wasn’t fair and she meant too much to me.
In one fell swoop, I’d lost the man I loved and our only friends.
