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She was fearless. Always unafraid. Maybe that was why she’d snuck around with me before. To live on the edge. To be somewhere she wasn’t supposed to be.
The woman was a lot of things, but scared wasn’t one of them. And hearing that little hint of fear sent a streak of unsettledness through me.
Water sloshing came through the phone from the other end.
“Where are you?”
“Our arrangement doesn’t include conversation.”
Stab.
Because my body was good enough for her to use, but the rest of me wasn’t.Get over yourself, Cal.It wasn’t like I’d exactly been a wordsmith around her either. Unless “take your clothes off” counted.
“Arrangement? As in present tense?” I so wished I could see her face. “We’re not done yet, Beau.”
More water splashed.
“We’re done when I say we are.”
I laughed, though it was hollow. “You think you control this?”
Even I wasn’t foolish enough to believe I did either. If I did, I’d be channel surfing, pretending I’d only heard her name in the paper . . . which I didn’t read. Instead, it had taken one look for me to get sucked right back into her orbit.
I knew better.
It hadn’t ended well before, and we were headed for disaster again. But I couldn’t predict the collision date. The only thing I could do was buckle up and enjoy the ride before it killed me.
“Don’t tell me you think you do.”
It was a taunt, meant to insult, but that wouldn’t work when I’d already faced the truth.
“No. I sure as hell don’t.”
A long silence fell between us.
Hang up the damn phone.
Instead, I cradled it between my ear and shoulder and sat back on my couch.
“Why did you text me? After Cassano’s funeral?”
There was no fire behind the questions. No bite or zip. None of her usual attitude toward me.
I’d asked myself the same thing no less than a thousand times over the past few weeks. The answer still evaded me.
“I don’t know.” I hated the way those words sounded coming out of my mouth.
“Still honest to a fault.” She snorted bitterly. “I’m glad to know it wasn’t my irresistible pull. Or even that you’d hit a dry spell and were just hard up.”
There it was. That rare glimpse at her vulnerability.
Beau was the most confident person I’d ever known. She carried herself with authority and grace. She was indestructible. Nothing swayed her. She didn’t need anyone.
A few times she’d given me a peek beneath her outer walls. Something I didn’t think she did very often and probably hated doing now. It drew me further into her web.
And honest to a fault?
No way would I admit she’d figured out the answer even when I hadn’t.
