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Nicolette
Saturday, April 16th, 2022
I’m living every twenty-one's soap opera. You know the one where you’ve been having sex, even with protection because that’s what an IUD is, and now you're sitting on a toilet trying to piss and being watched. Kris is handing me cups of water to make me need to piss.
“Maybe if you walk away, I can pee. Maybe I have a shy bladder or something.”
“Sure, but then who will bring you water?” Kris laughs. “I’m going to go reheat dinner. Just come out of there. We have two more. When you need to pee, we’ll deal with it. Right now, I need food, and so do you. Like you explained to me, it’s probably just me being a man that has no idea how these things work since I don’t have the parts.”
“That’s exactly it. You don’t have a vagina. Go away.”
Kris nods his head and walks away. I’m looking at three different tests. Why so many? Oh, that’s right. He’s a man. I don’t know what is going through his head. There's no freaking way I’m pregnant. I honestly don’t see how he could possibly think I’m pregnant. We just started having sex like two weeks ago.
I finally pee into a disposable cup so that I can do each of the tests. Setting them on the counter, I dispose of the urine that is left and wash my hands. Two are supposed to say pregnant or not pregnant, and the other is supposed to show a plus sign if I’m knocked up.
Walking into the kitchen where Kris is busying himself, I sit on the counter. “Well, come over here and watch with me since you’re the one that thinks I’m pregnant.”
Bringing over the food, which looks damn good, by the way, not that I have much appetite now, he’s got an unsure lip in his mouth. “I didn’t say that, Tink. What I said was that we’ve been catting around a couple of weeks, and I’ve known you longer than that, and to this point, have yet to hear any of the usual complaints or needs for things that women usually use. There aren’t any feminine products in the house that I’ve seen, which to me means one of three things, either your needs don’t need to be met, they are about to be met, or they got missed. So as I don’t know, I figured safe was better. I mean, if you are, isn’t it better to know now, to make sure you can make whatever choices you need, and see the right people to help in that choice?”
“Will you hand me my bag?” I point to it on the other side of him. Once he does, I open it, taking out my package of Flex. I open the package because I have plenty more if and when I do have a period. “So this is what they call a flex disk.” I hold it out to him. “When I do have a period which is hardly ever because of the IUD, it’s incredibly light. Lasts maybe three days. I usually will want pizza, caffeine, and something sweet. The best thing about this one that I didn’t have to worry about before is mess-free period sex.”
Apparently, Kris is not the squeamish type because he’s taken the disk from me and is now squishing it between his fingers.
“Neat, so have we used this?” he looks at me, making an airplane noise squishing it and making it fly upward.
“And you want to be a father right now? You’re still a child.” I sigh. “No, we haven’t. You would know if we had.” Here we go. I know he should have a family. I don’t even know if I want to have kids. Knowing it killed my mother. What could it possibly do to me? Could I die if I try to have a kid? I’m not ready to die, but I don’t know if I could do the abortion thing either. It’s just so much to think about. I could see a little smart-ass Kris running around or a sassy little girl like me. Would our kid have the same heart problem I do? “Could Kris handle going through what my dad did if something happened to me?”
Kris squeezes himself between my legs, wrapping his arms around me, then speaks very seriously. “If something happened to you. Because we brought a child into this world.” He says each word with care. “It would devastate me, but I promise you I would not break because that child would be you and me. It would be us. It would need me, and I would do everything that I could to ensure its happiness, even if that meant moving in your father and Cliff.” Kris lets out a little chuckle. “I would hurt, but I would endure. So, that’s one thing you don’t ever have to worry about.”
“I didn’t mean to speak my thoughts out loud. I-it scares me.” I drop my head to his shoulder.
He lifts my chin to make me look at him. “I’d be scared if you weren’t.” He picks up a test and looks at it. His eyebrows lift, and his head tilts to the side. “Do you wanna know?”
I take the test from him, and looking, I see the word pregnant. My shoulders drop. “Fuck.”
“There are two more tests. It could be wrong.”
I grab for the other two looking at them. They’re both negative. I flick him in the forehead. “Thanks for trying to give my fragile heart an attack.”
“It was not my intention. Like I said, I don’t know how this all works.” He circles my tummy with his hand, laying just above my mound, giving it a little press. “There’s no instruction manual, but let's be honest, if there were, I’d refuse to read it, as you said. I am a man.”
