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62
Nicolette
“Um-well, ya see.” Kris runs a hand over the top of his head trying to hide his crooked grin, before crawling across the bed toward me. He seems to think those dreamy hazel bedroom eyes are going to save him.
“Spit it out, Pan. What did you do and why?”
He huffs a sigh, pulling his legs under him to cross. “I got talking to Erica, and she thought that since we are talking tours and you were going to need to stick around here a bit, that being closer to the hospital was a good idea, but renting around here is crazy expensive, so-it was cheaper to expense out a place that we can keep using-whenever.”
“I can’t believe you bought a house becau se of me without talking to me first!” I growl rather loudly. “I thought this was supposed to be a partnership. You can’t keep doing shit without telling me. What’s next you going to buy our child a fucking poney and expect me to be okay with it?”
He pinches the bridge of his nose. “Nicolette, we are partners, in life, in love, in this relationship. This decision was for Vagrant Souls, it was not emotionally tied. In this the conclusion to purchase was a business decision that benefited you as an artist and as a pregnant woman with a heart condition. While I want certain things for you to ensure your safety and health as the woman I love, the insurance that is carried by Vagrant Souls for you and for your band mates has requirements.”
I try to cut him off, but he puts up his hands to let him continue.
“Those requirements that keep everyone in a safe and comfortable environment. The needs of our relationship and those requirements happen to align and I took advantage of that alignment. I am sorry but I do make those decisions which concern the company under the advisement of other better trained staff. Do you understand? You are my Tink, but you are also Nicolette Barret the musical artist. I have to try to remain professional in regards to that part of us. I will not have anyone say you are getting special treatment, or that you got where you are by fucking me. You are getting where you are because you put in the work, and the time it takes to do it right.” He’s standing now, and there’s a passion in his voice that I’m not sure what to do with.
I shake my head. “I hear you. I do but you would not have even thought of buying this place if it weren’t for me. You just blew a ton of money because the other place wasn’t exactly safe.” I drop my head. “I just hate it, is all I’m saying. I hate that you’re having to blow extra money because I’m such a risk. It’s not fair to you, your company or the band.” I lay down but also turn away. “What happens if you blow all this money and I die in the end anyway?”
“You may not like my answer.” Kris says softly wrapping his arms around me, pulling my back into his chest. I’m too tired to show my care. “The truth is that I can at the end of the fiscal year write off nearly all of this, and if something were to happen to you, be it your heart, this pregnancy or you get struck by lightning, there is a five million dollar insurance policy that we carry for all clients, not just the sexy pain in the ass ones.”
“At least you’ll be taken care of.” I grab the blanket pulling it around me.
It’s good to know he won’t be left in debt because of me. The money he’s shelling out right now is insane. He’s not saying it, but it’s a lot. I know it is. I know how much the medicines I have to have cost. Now we have this baby thing on top of everything else. I can see the debts piling on top of each other.
The almost miscarriage scared me. Scared me enough to run home. I thought about while stuck in that fucking bed. In my troubles the first person I normally run to is dad. This time I was more content with Kris. I wanted Kris beside me. Am I getting dependent on him? Do I need to try and do more alone?
I have to bite my lip to keep my tears from falling because at this moment that’s what I want to do.
“I do believe in fairies, and Tink, I’ll do anything-” He sings softly. “To see you smile.” He nuzzles into my neck. “I love you more than you may ever believe, and no amount of money that comes in or burns, will ever measure up to the depth of that love.”
“Kris, you’re going to make me cry. I’m sorry, my emotions are every where. this stupid almost whatever has me all over the place. I’m scared it’s going to happen again and again and again. I asked you this before but since this happened, I’m going to ask you again. Did we make a mistake?”
“Oh, sure, I’ve made plenty, I think that the blankets are kind of scratchy, and that this pillow is too damn hard, but when it comes to you, me and this little dragonfly?” His hands rest at my belly button, and press very lightly. “I wasn’t sure, until I heard that strong little flutter. I said it before God doesn’t give us more than we can handle, and whether you are faithful or not doesn’t matter. That’s the beauty of it, the choice of it all. I choose to believe we can manifest intentions, and my intentions are to love you for the rest of my life.” I can feel him swallow against my back. “I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared, but my hope is stronger than my fear and I will blow every dollar that I have to make sure you are well looked after. If I run out of money I’ll rob banks, pretty sure Gill and Gillian could crack a safe.” He chuckles. “Blue would make a great getaway driver too.”
“No, Blue would not be a great getaway driver. He’d get lost!”
He’s laughing. “For a guy names after a color, he isn’t exactly the brightest crayon in the box, is he?”
“Not at all. I think he’d starve if he didn’t have all of us around to make sure he’s eating. Though he was pretty handy in a freak out. Even if Gillian had to force him to stay out of the bedroom. You know he tried to carry me to the living room blood and all.”
“He’s a good egg, I actually found him like two years ago, he was playing his horn for dollars on a little strip in Reno. I bought him a burger and he followed me back to the hotel. I just put him on the payroll after that. Not sure what he does beside float and play. But I think him and Camden got something going on.”
“Actually Camden is with Karn. Blue is with himself mostly from everything I’ve gathered. It’s a lot to keep up with.” I finally turn to cuddle into Kris. “I love you, Pan.”
