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63
Kris
“I don’t know how much more of this I can take.” I sigh flopping down into the couch beside Nicolette. “I thought this was going to be fun.” Three days, three cooks- I’m calling them cooks because some of the shit they are bringing to the table is not edible. I mean, they were all given paramiters, and they know that they need to take not only a pregnancy into consideration but also a heart condition and not make things that taste like fucking cardboard.
The first one lasted ninety seconds. As soon as they asked us where all the equipment was I was done. If they want to make spiral zucchini pasta then they should have brought the stupid cutter thing. Am I right? Another had some weird smelling herbs that made Tink gag, so by lunch time we were ordering tacos.
Today Jenika Weathers is here from Sounthern California, the breakfast quiche wasn’t bad, and she even fed Camden and Gill since they were here, but it’s lunch that has me concerned. It smells interesting, but that doesn’t mean much. Tink leans into me.
“I wish there were better snacks. I need snacks.”
I put my arm around her as Jenika sets two plates infront of us. My brow quirks, as I’m not sure what I’m looking at. All I know is it’s sorta orange covered in scallions and reeks of garlic. It is also uniformly shaped like little one inch boxes. “Umm.” I watch as Tink pokes it with her fork.
"What exactly is this?" She dares to ask..
“Your requests included alternative forms of protein. This is an orange garlic tofu. It will-”
"Out! Get the fuck out. You are not hired. You will not collect two hundred for passing go. Get out and don't come back."
The woman is so flabbergasted that she stutters an apology and darts past Mariska.
“So- Doordash or Ubereats?” Mariska laughs.
“Tink, that was ridiculously mean.” I shake my head. “I know you’re hangry, but damn.” Before she can respond the door bell rings. “Who?” I go to get up but before I can get to the door I see Gillian and Piper Lyn’s back as the door opens. Standing at the threshold is a blonde dude with a bag slung over his shoulder. “Can I help you?”
“Hey, I know I’m a day early, but I got in sooner than I thought. Name’s Lathan Sawyer, Erica Davenport set up an audition for a personal chef spot.”
"Are you going to make tofu bullshit?"
“Tofu bullshit? Is that a thing?” He’s got a huge smile on his face. “No ma’am, I like to only cook real food, and tofu while technically organic is just weird.” He watches as Jenika slithers past with her stuff. “Looks like I might have decent timing. Did she feed you yet?” He looks through me straight to Tink.
Tink holds up her plate. "Would you eat this? Because I sure as fuck will not.” as she speaks this guy enters the house going straight for the plate! Bowser is watchng from the doorway-coward. “I'm not naturally picky but here's the thing, I have limits and tofu is the hardest.” This guy takes a piece and examines it, and Tink just keeps going. “I want edible food that won't kill me. Is that too much to ask for?" She’s staring me down!
“You were super mean!” I try to argue as Lathan, that was his name right? Takes the plate and puts it on the floor.
“That’s fancy dog food. C’mere pup.” As Bowzer runs over to devour the plate this guy is rifliling through his bag. “It will take me a few to get orientated, I assume there is either food here or I can have stuff delivered, in the meantime, you can snack on this.” He hands Tink a bag of stuff. “It’s a protein mix I make with chickpeas and nuts. Careful it’s a little spicy, but nothing too exotic.”
She takes it gingerly, looking very confused. “Th-thank you?”
Lathan straightens up. “I hope I haven’t overstepped, but you looked hungry. I have another mix in the van, with my equipment if you prefer something with dark chocolate?”
"You actually have snacks, which is shocking. I was starting to think this one said no snacks." She bumps my shoulder.
My tongue goes into my cheek, I’m not sure how I am feeling at the moment. “You brought your own equipment?” I look outside and see what can only be described as a Chester the Molester van.
He shrugs. “I never know what I may need so yeah it’s easier to just haul it around, some things are easier to use when you are familiar with them.”
“There’s a bit of food in the fridge, but not much.” Gillian offers with a smile.
“If it’s good by you, I’d like to take a look and show you what I can do. As to snacks-Who doesn’t like snacks? Food is good for you, and your changing body.”
Tink nods, putting a handful of the mix into her mouth. “Kitchen is that way.” She points as Piper Lyn grabs his hand.
“Mommy, he’s pretty, can we keep him?”
“Out of the mouth of babes.” I run my hand down my face, closing the door to follow the women that have already seemed to have adopted this new pretty boy.
As introductions are made Lathan starts going through the cabinets and the fridge. I mean we have food, but most of the cooks that have come through were insistent on bringing or making us get different things. Gill, Blue and Camden go out to the van to get his equipment while the rest of us watch him whip up bread from cereal and a few other items. I mean bread from scratch? I’m impressed but am keeping it close to the vest. Cheese is being grated, and some kind of tomato base is in a pan.
