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Afraid, as always, that I’ll do something stupid, I press my left hand tight to Ryle’s back and smooth my right hand over my leg.
“Hey.” Jules reaches for Ryle.
I know it’s not that she doesn’t trust me. There was a time when I took her every action, every time she looked at Ryle when she picked him up after he was with me, as criticism. Like she was checking to find something I did or didn’t do. But I’ve learned from my own parenting of our son that it’s just what parents do. When you’re apart from your child, you’re missing part of yourself, and when you get that part back, you run your fingers over it, and you study it, and then you hold it close for a moment to mend the pieces back together.
We’ve perfected this part—the sharing, the transferring. She takes a small step back as I stand and hand our son over to her. Ryle’s getting too big for her to hold. She’s petite, and Ryle’s growing up. But she carries him now and then. She wants to hold him now. I get it. My phone call scared her, though it wasn’t my intention.
“Mommy?” Ryle blinks, but his eyes close again as he snuggles into her.
“It’s Mommy,” she whispers and rubs her hand over his back. “How’s Harper?”
My family loves Jules. I’ve never shared anything with them about why we split up, and I don’t plan to. Just as I never tell them I wish things were different. That I wish Julie wasn’t just the mother of my child, but also my love, my wife.
Julie always got along well with them, but when we split up, she backed away from all of us. I don’t blame her, though I miss her. Just as part of the Woolff family dynamic, I miss her.
“She’s got some broken bones,” I answer. I clear my throat, my voice gruff. I hate that Twain and Mabry and Dad are all watching this awkward interaction.
Then again, maybe they’re all in their own little world.
“Oh no.” Jules flinches. “What happened?”
“She got t-boned.”
“But she’ll be okay?” Jules tips her head. Her big brown eyes roam over my face, and for a second, I remember that she used to look at me that way before pressing into me for a hug.
“Yeah.” I nod and step away from her.
I’ve dated. A lot. I’m on the go all the time. I’ve been out on the town with women—some friends, some girlfriends—in Vegas and Miami and San Diego. I’ve moved on, but when I’m standing this close to Jules, I don’t know how I’ve been without her for so long.
I do know she’ll never forgive me, so there’s no point in dwelling on the past.
“Good.” She nods and then looks at my dad. “Hey, Anthony. Are you doing okay?”
Dad offers her a small smile and nods.
Jules glances at Mabry and Twain. She and Mabry share a smile, and then my ex ruffles my brother’s hair and turns back to me. My gut is mid flip-flop over that gesture when our eyes meet. How does he rate an affectionate touch and me nothing? Twain has Mabry. Harper has Keith. And Mom and Dad have leaned on each other forever. What if I need someone to be with me?
“Call me,” Jules tells me. “If you need something.”
I nod and watch her walk away with our son still asleep in her arms.
I should follow her. Offer to carry Ryle to her car.
But she’s made it clear that nothing I do for her and Ryle will make up for the past.
3
Julie
As much as I don’t want to bump into Truman, when Ryle tells me the next day he wants to see Harper, I can’t say no. Harper and Keith babysit Ryle sometimes, and Ryle and their son Ethan are thick as thieves. Besides, I’m worried about Harper, too. I know Truman told me she’ll be okay, but I still want to see for myself.
It’s Saturday, I tell myself as Ryle climbs into the car. Truman will be busy doing something, so I won’t see him. He’s into real estate, following in Anthony’s footsteps, although Anthony does a better job balancing work and family. Maybe Truman left for Vegas today. I still don’t know why he was here last night and not in Vegas. I didn’t want to ask questions last night at the hospital.
Once Ryle is settled in his booster seat, he buckles his seat belt, and then beams up at me.
“Good job!” I hold my fist out and wait for him to knuckle me. Not sure who taught him that, but it’s his thing now. His sweet smile morphs into an ornery grin. I shut the door and hurry around the car to get in. “Now, Ryle, you have to remember Aunt Harper is gonna be in pain. She might be sleeping. She might be grouchy. You need—”
“Ethan says Aunt Harper is always grouchy.”
