AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He went into work mode and assisted the tow truck when it arrived. Afterward, we geared up to clean the bat cave. Long sleeves, gloves, masks, and plastic eye protection. Because of course he had all the right supplies. The guano—aka bat crap—wasn’t too plentiful, but we needed to scrub every surface it touched after disposing of it. All the bedding went into the wash. We sorted my belongings into plastic bags, separating clothing from toiletries which thankfully were all zipped in plastic already. Honestly, I would have preferred to nuke it all. Even the cute lemon print sundress I’d imagined myself wearing out for drinks with the girls.
Or drinks out with Adam and his bike shop buddies. But I couldn’t stay.
After showering again, we ate a quiet dinner of leftover grilled food. Uneventful, except for the impending sense all of this would be over by tomorrow. What we’d gained back was possibly all we would ever be. Mended fences, but a fence I’d leave behind and never see again.
“Want to go out on the boat?” Adam asked.
A welcome distraction from my thoughts. “Sounds great.”
He smiled, but the glow he’d developed over the last day had a duller sheen. Either what I’d said about needing to get home added distance between us, or he automatically distanced himself to prepare for it.
You deserved better. You deserved more. He’d said those words about our break-up. Out of sight, out of mind. I couldn’t let him fall back on his old thinking. Only there were too many unknowns again. This time, instead of going off to a university where he knew exactly where I’d be, I could end up taking a position clear across the country. He had a business with roots in Michigan. That wasn’t going to change.
As we cruised the lake, I let the quiet become comfortable between us. I shared with him a few summer memories involving Colt Jackson. Adam slowly emerged from his cloud and joined in with stories of his own. Memories of our families here together, and a few just between us. The familiar moments that would always be safe to discuss.
Anything about the future, we conveniently left for another day.
14
Adam
I convinced Jillian to sleep in my room since the guest room needed airing out. I took the couch again. It killed me to know she was so close, mere steps upstairs. We might never be this close again.
Rolling over on the lumpy pull-out couch, I begged my thoughts to quiet down. As much as I’d wanted to believe we could make things work, I couldn’t lie to myself. Jillian should have the pick of any university job she desired. If I went upstairs now, while she was vulnerable, I’d eventually end up as extra baggage. I couldn’t weigh her down a second time.
Hopefully, whatever job she got could assist with breaking the lease, or maybe her folks could help her financially. Heck, I’d send a check to the leasing office. If it helped her get what she wanted, I’d do anything.
I needed her to find her dream job, or leaving her the first time would be for nothing. I never wanted her to compromise. Not for me, not for anybody.
I woke early the next day after a rough sleep. Worse than sleeping in the cold woods without a tent in Scouts and worse than crashing on my buddy’s chipped tile bathroom floor after our night out for my twenty-first birthday.
A dull ache formed behind my eyes as I gave up on getting more sleep. I did the thing that always helped. I put on my running shoes, grabbed my phone and headphones, and left for a run.
Halfway down the drive, I thought to text Jillian I was headed out but I didn’t have her number. She could drive out of here today, and I wouldn’t have a way to contact her.
Circling back to the house, I left a written note by the coffee machine.
I forced my sleep-deprived body through a warm up. I started a low jog and found my rhythm. My mind cleared and my thoughts emptied out.
Hah, yeah right. My thoughts were all Jillian.
I thought through the differences in our lives now. I head a clearer head, that was for sure. A successful, growing business I actually liked. I felt proud of my work. Proud of my life.
I was worthy of Jillian. Maybe I always had been, but I knew it now. I knew it with the confidence of age and a little bit of life experience.
But this was the first real break I’d had in years, and I’d chosen to do more work. Being with Jillian again reminded me of lazy summers and actual relaxing. I wanted more of that.
And I wanted more Jillian.
I ran longer than I had in weeks and took extra time to stretch out. When I returned, Jillian sat at the dining room table off the kitchen typing on her laptop. Back to working on her future. No surprise there.
“Hey.” She looked up at me. “You’re sweaty.”
Just what every guy wanted to hear. “Running in heat does that. Did you get food?”
“I ate more fruit salad and cereal. Thanks for looking out for me.”
She looked tired—not that I’d say as much to her. I knew better. But besides puffy under eyes, she seemed in a better place than yesterday. Which instantly made me feel better about today. She could get her car back, drive downstate and well, that’d be it. Okay, I didn’t feel better.
