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“I’m going to hit the shower.”
I tried to be quick, knowing I didn’t have much time left before Jillian took off. Then again, the sooner I left this bathroom, the sooner I’d have to say goodbye. I wasn’t ready.
I wanted more time, but I couldn’t hold her back. What I wanted might not exist. Jillian needed to conquer the world, wherever her career took her. I also wanted to be with her. Yes, I knew that now, as sure as anything.
I wanted to be with Jillian.
Did she want me at her side? She’d mentioned we only lived an hour’s drive apart downstate. But I was an extra complication, right as she began her next phase in life. We still had emotional baggage weighing us down. Maybe a little less of it now.
I couldn’t shake the feeling this was an opportunity. A second chance at what I wasn’t ready for back then.
If she walked out that door before I told her how I felt, I’d never forgive myself.
I didn’t want to let Jillian out of my life again. Because I…loved her. I’d loved her then, and I loved her still.
I‘d never wanted to love anyone else, but I hadn’t been ready then. I hadn’t known who I was at seventeen. These years apart, I’d dated people I never had intentions of being serious about. I could see that clearly now.
It had always been her.
It wouldn’t take weeks or months to know. I knew it now.
I needed to find a way to be with her. Wherever she ended up. Even if it meant relocating.
I owned my business. I could do with it what I wanted. I could sell the company and keep my crew employed, then start again somewhere else. Not saying it would be easy, but who was stopping me other than myself?
I shut off the water and grabbed a towel. I did a dry job worthy of a middle school locker room and yanked clothes over my still wet skin. I flung the door open, my wet hair sending drips down the back of my neck to my shirt.
“Jillian?” She was gone from the dining table. Not in the living room or kitchen. My heart raced. I needed to tell her everything before I lost my nerve.
Out back, an empty deck. Then I spotted her, on the dock. Her feet dipped into the water.
I ran to her. It wasn’t far from the house and I’d just run probably four or five miles, but my breath came short by the time I reached her. “Jillian.”
She squinted at me, shielding her eyes. “I thought you took a shower? You still look sweaty.”
“It’s water from the shower. Hey, so I have a few things to say.” I drew a breath. “I don’t want to get in the way of your job, but I’m pretty sure I fell in love with you all over again this weekend. I’ll never forgive myself if I let you leave without telling you. And also, my business is my business. I mean, my company I’m talking about. I can take my work anywhere. You’re worth it. I want to be where you are.”
Her mouth parted as I spoke. Halfway through my speech, I’d started to hear the red flags myself. Too fast, too much. This would overwhelm her. The last thing I wanted.
I waited for her reaction as my horror sank in. I’d for real said all of those things out loud. If she had a working car, she would have peeled out of here squealing tires and all.
Except she was smiling. Was she laughing at me? Laughter might be worse than anger. I could deal with anger.
She stood from the dock and took my hands. “Did you say you fell in love with me?”
“I…did. Yes.” So far she wasn’t screaming or running away. Well, walking quickly because she hated running.
“Did you also say you’d move your business for me?”
She was still here. “Yes. If you relocated, I absolutely would.”
She leaned up and kissed my cheek. “You really surprised me this weekend. First, literally surprising me by standing outside of my car. Then by clearing the air about our breakup, and finding thoughtful ways to show you care by fixing what fell apart around me. I believe you when you say you’d turn your life around for me.”
The stress weighing me down cracked apart. I nearly felt the pieces chip away. “I love you, Jillian. No matter what happens next, I love you.”
She kissed my other cheek. “I love you too. I never stopped.”
Any weight left fell away. I pulled her closer, wrapping my arms around her soft curves. My breath caught. She never stopped loving me. And she’d always been in my heart, all that time.
