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There were several people walking around, enjoying the evening air, and strolling along the pathway that circled the square before disappearing along a creek nearby. There was a dog park, a few picnic tables in the distance, and benches for those that used the path for exercise or to take a stroll.
Putting the car into park, he turned off the ignition and looked at her.
“What?” Samantha said nervously.
“I want you to shut your eyes, please,” Toby instructed, and she complied without a second thought because she felt safe with him and had known him for years. If she was on a date with anyone else, she would have balked or questioned it.
“It’s just you and me, in our little corner of the hangar, and we snuck the Hershey bar from Glory’s mini-fridge… do you remember that? How do you feel?” he asked quietly.
“What do you mean?” she hesitated. Those memories were some of her favorite ones and felt herself blushing immediately.
“I mean, how do you feel? Happy, sad, upset, nervous? How did that young girl feel that day?”
“I felt… joyful,” Samantha said softly, feeling herself smile at the memory. She knew exactly what day he was talking about because they’d laughed so hard, split the Hershey’s bar, and had chocolate everywhere on that hot summer day. “I was happy, felt so free, and full of mischievousness at sneaking away.”
“It was just you and me… enjoying a moment together, frozen in time, that was so vibrant and special,” Toby spoke softly, and she started to open her eyes…
“Nope. Keep them closed,” he ordered abruptly, before softening his voice again. “Now, I want you to picture the day that I asked you to the bonfire in the hallway at school. How did you feel?”
“Alarmed,” she admitted painfully, frowning, remembering just how confused she felt in that moment – and frightened. “Annoyed, scared…”
“Why?”
“Because things were changing for those once carefree children.”
“And when that same boy kissed that girl?”
“Awareness, fear, and nervousness,” she admitted in a hushed voice.
“Why?”
“Because things were changing… inside of me,” she whispered brokenly, her voice hesitating. “You were always there – and I now knew it, instead of being able to keep pretending that the changes weren’t there.”
“Now… keep your eyes closed and think,” Toby said softly, taking her hand in his. She could feel the roughness of his callused hands, the warmth of his skin, and a prickling awareness deep inside of who exactly it was, holding her hand.
“Which of those moments, those feelings, is filling you knowing that you are sitting beside me now? How do you feel realizing that same boy is on a date with that young girl?” his voice asked in the silence as she sat there with her eyes closed, searching deep within herself.
This was that boy, the once very annoying same boy, that used to follow her around, and had been her best friend so easily until puberty and awareness had changed both of them.
She was still that same girl hidden inside a woman’s body, with all those same emotions, the lack of confidence, and the drive to prove herself somehow.
“How does it feel to know I’m holding your hand?” Toby began.
“It feels… electric,” Samantha breathed openly, feeling a sort of peace steal into her soul from somewhere deep within. “I feel anxious, a little nervous, but it’s a thrilling excitement, much like a roller coaster.”
“So, if it was just you and me - right now - with no outside influences, no parents, no gossips, no worries… those children, that boy and young girl, who once stole away for a moment in time, playing like we were that day in the hangar. If it was just us, how do you feel now?”
Samantha swallowed and felt tears sting her eyes at awareness – and realizing that perhaps this is what she had known all along. There was something between the two of them she couldn’t put her finger on, because it felt tangible, like an electric wire. She was once afraid of what it meant at each of those pivotal moments… because she hadn’t been ready.
But now she was.
Opening her eyes, she turned to look at Toby.
“I feel… alive for the first time,” she breathed softly.
He drew in his breath and looked away quickly, as he gave her hand a slight squeeze in acknowledgement. Pulling his keys from the ignition, he nodded and wouldn’t meet her eyes.
“Let’s go inside,” he began, his voice abrupt and almost terse.
