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“I’ll try to do better.”
“That would be appreciated by most everyone around here.” Sara elbows me. “You’ll figure it out.”
I nod, then turn to go back to my office. My surly attitude has nothing to do with Sara pointing out my lack of pleasantries and everything to do with feeling like I’m failing at something else. I thought I had it all figured out when, in reality, I know nothing.
At least Sara felt comfortable enough to tell me I was messing up. I probably should’ve said thank you for letting me know. I don’t want her to think I’m pissed at her.
It’ll be a good reason to bring her dinner tonight. And maybe we can talk more about what happened earlier today.
20
SARA
The noise level in the house is at an ear-splitting level. It always is when we have family dinner at Mom and Dad’s. With my four brothers acting like buffoons, Natalie’s spitfire personality, along with her fiancé, Tucker, who tends to get roped into whatever the boys are doing, there’s never a dull moment around here.
I love these people. I love how loud and loving they are, even how they act like middle school boys. Which they’re currently excelling at right now as Nolan and Matthew wrestle on the floor.
“If you break my table again, neither one of you will get dessert!” Mom yells from the kitchen. Nolan and Matthew freeze. An unspoken communication happens between them before they let go, move the coffee table to the side of the room, then proceed to continue wrestling with the extra space. Carter is standing off to the side, his arms crossed as he watches to make sure neither one gets in any cheap shots.
Natalie and Tucker are snuggling on the loveseat, completely ignoring the madness happening in front of them. If Matthew wins, Nolan will start a video game tournament and force Tucker to play. It’s the only way Nolan stands a chance to beat Tucker at anything, and even then, Tucker wins nine times out of ten.
“You okay over here?” Adam, my oldest and most serious brother, asks and sits down next to me on the couch.
“Yeah.” I smile at him, content to be surrounded by my family.
“You’re quieter than usual.”
“It’s kind of hard to get a word in with those two yahoos.”
“Fair, except you’d normally be refereeing the two yahoos to make sure they didn’t hurt each other.” Adam’s stare makes me want to squirm. He has an uncanny ability to know exactly what to say—or not say—that makes people open up. Especially me. Out of all my brothers, I’m closest to Adam. He’s the one I’ve always gone to when I had a problem I needed help solving. He’s the one I’d seek out when I had a bad day or just needed a steady presence when I felt like my world was tilting. And after all this time, I think he knows things aren’t quite right in my world. He’s seen me at my worst enough times that it’s probably instinct by now.
He’d be right, too. I just can’t bring myself to talk about it. Every time I try, my heart races, and my throat closes on the words that so desperately need to come out. Logically, I know if I tell people, it’ll make me feel better. But I also know these people will start smothering me with their need to protect me, and if I let that happen, I might just break in two.
So, I keep my mouth shut and keep the words locked inside my heart, hoping that eventually, they’ll just go away. “Just not feeling myself today, I guess.”
Adam’s gaze is scrutinizing, reading everything I’m not saying. Instead of pushing, he wraps his arm around my shoulder and squeezes me. “When you’re ready,” he whispers. The sting of tears behind my eyes makes me clench my teeth to keep them from flowing. That’s the last thing I need right now.
“Tap out!” Matthew shouts, thankfully pulling my attention back to the mayhem on the floor.
The frustrated growl from Nolan precedes his hand slapping the floor. Mathew stands with a whoop while Nolan pouts. The whole interaction is the distraction I needed to make me forget the heaviness of the moment.
“How’s it going with Ben?” Natalie asks. My cheeks immediately start burning at the mention of his name. Her question was innocent since all she knows is he’s been a jerk of a boss since he got here. I haven’t told her anything about us as it would lead to questions about how we became friends in the first place.
I’m not even sure what I would tell her. Since our moment in his office earlier this week, we haven’t had time to talk about it. Hilariously, his mom has been cockblocking him in the evenings while she renovates his dad’s office. He’s been having to move around all their furniture because his mom can’t decide how she wants things arranged. There have been several text messages sent containing only curse words. Then he FaceTimes me with his adorably grumpy face, threatening punishments when I laugh.
“Who’s Ben?” Matthew demands.
“Her new boss. He’s been an asshole to the whole clinic. Has it gotten any better?”
“Um, yes. He’s been much better the last few weeks. He included us in his plans to start a fund for people who can’t afford to pay for visits.”
“That doesn’t sound assholish,” Nolan points out.
“I think he just had a hard time adjusting to the change in circumstances. He never planned to take over his dad’s clinic in the first place.”
Natalie squints her eyes at me, a calculating expression taking over her face. I don’t have time to figure out what it’s about before Adam interrupts. “Wait, is your new boss Ben Crawford? Didn’t we go to high school with him?”
“Yeah, I think you did.”
