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“I wish I were as ignorant as you guys right now. I could do with a little relaxing instead of all the stress piling up in my body.”
“Same,” Adam says, sitting down next to me. I didn’t even hear him come out. “Sometimes I wish I could turn off this analytical part of my mind that’s trying to puzzle out the answer. Trying to see something no one else has seen because I’m so desperate to find out what happened to her. It’s exhausting.”
“I’d really like to stop feeling like an absolute failure.”
“You couldn’t have done anything differently, Ben. We both know if you’d tried to lock her up, she’d have junk punched you and then ran away.”
A rusty laugh falls from my chest. “That’s not what I mean. We were supposed to meet for lunch, but Rebecca called me, needing help. I told Sara to meet me at home with lunch instead of waiting at the café. If I’d have told off Rebecca like I should have, Sara would still be here.”
My confession is met with silence, the words hanging in the air like a brewing storm.
“As much as I want to be pissed at you for meeting that horrible human being, I can’t. Ben, even if you had met Sara for lunch when you were supposed to, her stalker would’ve just picked a different day to grab her. This was always going to happen because he was determined enough to make it so. I know my words aren’t going to ease your guilt. I’ve got plenty of it myself, wondering if I would’ve pushed her to open up sooner whether she’d be safe.”
“She would’ve punched you if you forced her to talk before she was ready.”
Adam huffs out a laugh before turning serious again. “How did he subdue her? I mean, she took down Matthew, for god’s sake. How did this happen?”
“I don’t know. My only guess is he surprised her and knocked her out somehow.” It would’ve taken a really stealthy guy to do that. If the stalker is the same person who tried to take Sara from La Mensa, his bulk would’ve kept him from being stealthy.
Adam grunts in agreement, not liking the idea of Sara being physically attacked, either. I hate the idea of her getting hurt, but there’s no other explanation for how he could have taken her down.
We sit in silence for a while, both of us taking comfort in not being alone with our fear and guilt.
My phone rings, pulling us both out of our stupors. Frowning down at Susan’s name on the screen, I answer. “Hey, Susan.”
“Ben, sorry to bug you on a Sunday evening. I was going over our inventory and noticed something odd.”
“Why are you doing inventory on the weekend?”
“My husband pissed me off, and I needed some time away. Since Sara organized the stock closets, doing inventory is way easier than it used to be. Anyway, this inventory list isn’t correct, so I was wondering if you’d be able to double-check it in case our numbers are weird.”
Any other time, I’d tell her I’d look at it on Monday, but right now, I really need the distraction. With jack shit to do to help find Sara, and my guilt piling on top of me, this is the perfect thing to keep me occupied.
“I can come in and take a look at it.”
“Oh, I didn’t mean for you to come into the office now. We can discuss it more on Monday.”
“It’s fine. I’ll see you in twenty minutes.” I hang up the phone, then stand from my spot on the deck.
“I’ll call you if Cooper comes by,” Adam says, standing up with me.
“Thanks, Adam. Do you think it’s bad I’m leaving?”
“No, I’d take the distraction if I had the opportunity.”
Nodding my head, I turn to go into the house. I say a quick goodbye to my mom, then head to the clinic. It’s early evening now, which doesn’t feel quite right. This has been the longest day of my life. And I don’t want it to end until Sara is back in my arms. Nothing will feel right until she’s home safe.
I pull into the lot of the clinic and park next to Susan’s car. Once I’m inside, I head straight for the back, knowing Susan will be knee-deep in inventory.
When I come around the corner, I find her holding a laptop while she counts glass drug containers. I wait until she turns around before I speak, not wanting to interrupt her system. She’s a very scary lady when you mess her up.
“Thanks for coming, Ben. When your dad was in charge, I could only do a cursory inventory. Since nothing was in a logical place—and not always together—it made it very difficult to know how much of each item we had.”
Another point in the techs’ favor for putting up with my dad’s ability to ruin every opportunity for organization.
“Since Sara organized, I’ve been able to start inventorying regularly again.”
“Thank you for doing that.”
