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He pulled a cigarette out of its packet, lighting it for me and handing it over. I shook my head, clamping my hands behind my back. If I had one more, I knew I’d be on a slippery slope. I wasn’t the sort of person who could smoke now and again, when I was under stress, or when I was with a particular group of people. I didn’t function that way: it had always been all or nothing with me. Things were either great or they were terrible; I either loved someone or I hated them.
‘So, we were in Venice.’
‘Who is we?’
‘Just me and Si.’
He looked confused.
‘My boyfriend. Simon.’
It was breezier down here, and a few degrees cooler even though the bright sunshine now glistened over the river. I slipped his jacket over my shoulders.
‘Simon …’ said Léo. The name sounded nicer in French. ‘Ah. That is who you called. When we were on the train.’
I turned to face him, wedging my hands on my hips. ‘Were you listening in on my conversation, or something?’
He smirked. ‘I could hardly help it. The entire carriage could hear.’
‘They could not.’
‘You were very loud.’
I looked sulkily out at the Seine. A dredger passed by with a dog charging about on its decks, which didn’t do anything for my nerves because I was convinced it was about to jump into the water and drown right in front of my eyes.
‘It was because you were upset, non?’ said Léo, still going on about it. ‘Your volume was up here,’ he said, reaching his hand up towards the sky to demonstrate just how much of an idiot I’d made of myself.
‘You’re exaggerating,’ I said.
I’d made a concerted effort to talk quietly.
Léo laughed. ‘Tell me, what did you do in Venice?’
‘The usual. Sightseeing. Eating my bodyweight in pizza.’
The whole time I’d been there I’d had this feeling of familiarity, I nearly told him, as though I’d been there before. Perhaps it was the photos I’d seen of it in the past, the brochures I’d leafed through, the pictures of George and Amal Clooney on their wedding day.
‘He must really want to impress you if he takes you to Venice,’ he said.
I thought that maybe he had, but it had still been a massive shock when I’d found out where we were going, particularly since he’d never been one for grand gestures before. He’d told me at my birthday dinner, in front of Ellie and John. I wasn’t quite sure why he’d done that and if I was honest, I’d have preferred it to have been just the two of us. I hated having multiple pairs of eyes on me and could never relax when I was the centre of attention.
‘As you guys know better than anyone, next Saturday, the very amazing Hannah and I will have been together for a year,’ Si had dramatically announced the second we’d finished dinner.
‘Nice one, Si,’ said Ellie, winking at me.
Si cleared his throat. ‘It has, and I can say this without hesitation, been an amazing journey. When I walked up that escalator at Highgate tube station, I had no idea my life was about to change. That I was about to meet the woman who would prove that love at first sight is an actual thing.’
I put my head in my hands, embarrassed. What was he doing?
‘What a sweet talker,’ said Ellie, nudging me jokily.
‘And so,’ he went on, pausing only to take a mouthful of water, ‘I wanted to get you something extra special. A sort of thirtieth birthday cum anniversary present. To show you how much you mean to me.’
‘Ok,’ I said, warily, peeking through my fingers.
He produced a box from under the table. I swallowed, tearing off the wrapping paper, part intrigued, part mortified. I didn’t think I’d done anything to deserve all of this. Inside the paper was a grey box with a Mulberry logo emblazoned on the front. I was confused. Money had always been a touchy subject between us, although I’d assumed it was because we were still working out the logistics of living together – opening joint accounts for the bills and setting up direct debits and all that other organisational stuff that I’d never been brilliant at. We had to save, he’d been drumming into me, for a deposit on a home of our own. To me, this seemed like a pointless exercise, because how were we ever supposed to save enough for a property in London? I’d rather have spent the money on having a good time now and worried about the pros and cons of mortgages later, although that was me all over. No wonder I was permanently overdrawn.
‘Look inside the box,’ he said.
