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The messages had been very vague. They didn’t smack of an affair exactly, but it was clear there was something going on, something they didn’t want me to know about. Surely if he was sleeping with her, he would have covered his tracks, would have had the sense to delete the evidence. Unless, of course, he thought me too stupid to suspect anything. He might have imagined that he’d done such a great job of persuading me that he loved me that it wouldn’t cross my mind to go searching through his things. I felt stung by the betrayal. He’d emailed her on the night of my birthday, then. When had he done it? Before the presents or after? Had it been when he’d disappeared off to get the cake? How could it be that one minute he was entertaining my friends, spoiling me with extravagant presents, being so attentive, so loving, the perfect partner, and the next he’d sloped off to message another woman? It didn’t make any sense. I shook my head, wanting to get rid of the images of that night, of how happy I’d been. Had it all been a lie? Wasn’t I enough for him after all?
‘So, I must go to meet some friends,’ said Léo. ‘Would you like me to drive you back to the station?’
I nodded wildly. ‘Sure.’ I’d obviously got it wrong when I thought we’d be travelling together. What had been the point in giving me his number to hand out, then?
‘What will you do at the station?’ he asked, looking at his watch. ‘It is not even 12.00.’
‘I’ll read for a bit,’ I said, giving him the impression I’d like nothing more. ‘Channel my inner trainspotter, note down how many different types of train I can see. I don’t know.’
‘You certainly know how to have a good time, Hannah,’ said Léo mock-seriously.
I glanced round at Sylvie, who was putting things away in the kitchen. She flitted in and out of sight, stretching up to reach a cupboard and then bending down to the dishwasher.
‘I suppose you have had enough of Paris for one day,’ he said, laying the palm of his hand on the glass.
I laughed softly. ‘Funnily enough, Paris has turned out to be the least of my worries.’
‘Ah, so you love it after all!’
‘I wouldn’t say love, exactly.’
‘Enough to come and meet some more Parisians?’
I rested my forehead on the glass to try to stop my mind racing. It was full of lots of things, but mostly Si and his stupid, fucking emails.
‘You mean come with you now?’ I said.
‘It is ok. I understand. You think we are all arrogant and rude and you would rather spot trains.’
‘You know I was joking about the trains, right?’
‘Yes, Hannah, I know you were joking.’
If I could clear my head, I might be able to work out what to do. Figure out how I was going to get through this wedding knowing what I now knew.
‘Let’s go, then,’ I said, turning to look for my bag. ‘Before I change my mind.’
Léo watched me. ‘There are always surprises when I am with you, Hannah.’
‘Oh, I’m full of them,’ I said, thinking that clearly, I wasn’t the only one.
