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Chapter 18
I staggered down the aisle, Léo’s phone in one hand, my other gripping hold of whichever seat back I could grab.
‘One second, Ells, I’m just finding somewhere quieter,’ I said, making it to the area by the doors. I took a deep breath.
‘Hey, Ells,’ I said as loudly as I could without actually shouting, trying to regulate the sound of my voice. ‘Everything ok?’
‘Never mind me, what on earth is happening?’ she said, sounding overexcited, the way she always did when there was some sort of drama she could get behind.
‘You read my email, then.’
‘Course I read your bloody email. What’s going on, Han?’
I slid down the wall so that I was crouching, my elbows resting on my thighs, my knees pressed tightly together.
‘I’m on my way to Amsterdam now. Nearly there, in fact. Should just about make it in time for the wedding.’
‘Jesus,’ said Ellie. ‘How’s Si taking it? I bet he’s livid that one of his meticulously planned schedules has gone to pot.’
‘You could say that.’
‘Who’s this guy, then? The one with the phone?’
I made a concerted effort to sound casual. ‘Just someone I spoke to briefly on the train. He was supposed to be going to Amsterdam earlier, too.’
The sun came out from behind a cloud and light flooded the corridor, changing the way everything looked; the way it felt. The door to the next carriage slid open and a man wearing a grey suit came lurching through.
‘And what, you’ve been hanging out with him all day?’ said Ellie.
‘Kind of.’
‘Is he hot?’
I chewed my thumbnail. ‘He’s nice, yeah.’
Strips of light moved around, bending this way and that as the train rocked us from one side to the other. Somebody else stumbled past on their way back from the buffet car and I stood up, flattening my back against the wall.
‘Good for you, Han. Sounds a lot more fun than running around after nutty brides. Does Si know?’
‘Si does not know.’
Not a single part of me wanted to tell her what was really going on. I couldn’t even make sense of it myself, yet, so there was no way I could put it into words. One day I would; when we got back to London, I supposed. She was quick to give advice and always told me, in no uncertain terms, exactly what she thought. Sometimes I listened, nodded, agreed with her and then did the complete opposite, but there was always some value to what she had to say. I just wasn’t ready to hear it yet.
‘I’m so glad you’re ok, Han, I actually screamed out loud when I read your email.’
I laughed. Trust her to be over the top about it
‘But, um, before I go, I just wanted to … I felt I ought to tell you about something strange that happened earlier today,’ she said, her tone turning serious.
I frowned. ‘Go on.’
She cleared her throat. ‘I’ve gone back and forth about whether to say anything, whether to wait until you got home. But when I saw your email, I don’t know … I just got this feeling that it might all be connected somehow.’
‘What might be connected?’
It felt as though my heart was beating in my temples. When Ellie didn’t answer, I knew it must be something bad, because there wasn’t much that rendered her speechless.
‘Ellie! What is it? Just tell me.’
