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Chapter 21
I headed back to the terrace for the speeches. The last thing I wanted to do was make a scene, and it was becoming increasingly difficult not to tell him everything I knew and to demand an explanation. If I kept my distance, talked to other people, spent some time up in the room if I needed to, there was a chance I could do the right thing and keep it together until we got the chance to be alone.
I edged through the throng of guests, stopping to say hello to one of Si’s cousins, his aunt Patricia, the group of Catherine’s mates from work I’d met on the hen weekend. I managed to hold perfectly normal conversations with them, made polite small talk about the dress, about the weather, about how long we were all staying in Amsterdam. And then I edged towards the microphone that had been set up in front of the pergola, where the speakers would be framed by the beautifully fragrant roses that Catherine had chosen from Amsterdam’s most exclusive florist. I found a spot behind Pauline, who was whispering urgently into Roger’s ear before ripping a drink out of his hand and then beaming around at us all as though nobody had noticed that (a) he was pissed and (b) she was fuming about it. Léo flashed into my mind. I imagined his smirk, the funny remarks he might make and since he clearly wasn’t a fan of weddings, I was pretty sure he’d have plenty to say on the subject. From my new position I could see Alison sitting at a table with the other bridesmaids. I watched her run her fingertips absent-mindedly around the rim of a glass of Buck’s Fizz. How did she fit into this puzzle that was now surrounding Si and the relationship I’d thought we had?
‘Hannah!’
Catherine was beckoning me over, pulling me close to her, linking her arm through mine.
‘Congratulations,’ I whispered to her, kissing her lightly on the cheek. ‘It was a beautiful ceremony.’
‘My dad’s drunk,’ she said out of the corner of her mouth. ‘What should I do?’
I suppressed a smile. ‘He is a bit. It’ll be fine, though. He’ll say a few words, we’ll all do a toast, and job done.’
I stood on tiptoes, keeping Alison in my eyeline.
‘What if he says something awful?’ asked Catherine, widening her eyes. ‘Something to embarrass me?’
‘He won’t,’ I reassured her, although I wasn’t so sure. Roger was a liability when he’d been drinking, from what Si had told me.
I looked over my shoulder for Si, but he was nowhere to be seen. The best man’s speech had begun and was being delivered by some dry, charmless friend of Jasper’s from university. When it came to an end we all clapped politely. I imagined Léo making some funny and perfectly observed comment about it. A passing waiter topped up my glass. I wanted to take the edge off, but I also had to keep my focus. Roger took to the stage, knocking a chair over in the process. He’d managed to get his hands on another drink and was swinging it precariously around, holding the glass by its stem.
‘Hello? Hello? Testing, testing?’ he said, a squeal ringing out because his mouth was too close to the mike.
‘Oh God,’ said Catherine under her breath.
She turned to say something to Jasper and I scanned the room for Si. He was usually easy to spot, but because we were in Holland, there were more blond guys than usual. Where was he?
Roger started his speech, reading from a crumpled piece of paper that looked as though it had been retrieved from the bin. His words were slurred but, when you could make them out, very lovely. He told us about the moment he and Pauline had brought their beautiful daughter home from the hospital and how she’d been the most precious thing they’d ever seen. And about how Catherine’s face had lit up when she’d first told them about Jasper, how she’d insisted immediately that she’d met The One.
‘See? He’s doing fine,’ I whispered to Catherine.
‘I suppose,’ she said, sighing and shaking her head. ‘Because I don’t need anything else going wrong.’
‘Oh yeah, I heard about the make-up artist not turning up on time. Just what you didn’t need,’ I said.
Catherine frowned, as though she didn’t know what I was talking about.
‘Was she not late?’ I asked. Surely Si hadn’t been telling more lies.
‘Not as far as I know,’ she said. ‘But loads of other stuff went tits up. I had to get the deputy manager from the hotel to write out the place cards and she did a terrible job.’ She reached over and swiped one from the table behind us. ‘Look. She rushed them and her handwriting looks crap. It’s all spiky.’
I glanced down. ‘Yeah,’ I said, feeling bad. ‘It’s not great, is it?’
‘I’m not blaming you, I know you had a tough time getting here, but I’ve been running around all morning making sure that everyone had done what I asked them to do. It wasn’t the best.’
The words hotel, wedding and planner were on the tip of my tongue.
‘Sorry,’ I said.
‘I know you are,’ she said, giving her dad a thumbs-up and making a circular motion with her finger indicating that she would like him to wind it up now, please. ‘And then to top it off, I had to deal with a bridesmaid who didn’t fit into her dress,’ said Catherine, keeping her voice low while simultaneously fake-smiling at her dad. ‘She only just squeezed into it, it took two of us to yank the zip up.’
‘But you had so many fittings! Had she put on weight or something?’
Pauline threw me a look over her shoulder.
‘You could say that. She’s pregnant,’ said Catherine, rolling her eyes at me.
