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Crying, I was crying. Something I had long left to the past. It was a strange feeling. A breathless, painful ache that spread across my chest as the unfamiliar wetness sliced down my cheeks.
I raised a hand to clear them, only for the moisture to return as more tears were unleashed.
“You want to kill him,” I spluttered through chesty sobs. Trying to convince myself of my fate. My only purpose. “You want to kill him.”
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17
“If you are cold, I can offer you my jacket?” Marius said, keeping in step with me as we walked to the castle’s exit. He must have noticed the shiver of my skin, or how I had wrapped my arms across my chest to keep in the warmth. It seemed colder each night that passed. I suppose, with winter pressing on beyond the castle, it was inevitable for the pathetic fires to hardly keep out the chill. Yet Marius never seemed bothered.
“Will you not be cold?” I asked, staring mostly at my feet as we moved through the castle foyer.
“I do not fear nor feel the cold. So please, it is a clear night tonight and I would feel more comfortable knowing you are not shivering beside me. That and it is… distracting. I would not care for you to catch a sickness and pass before your stay here concludes.” Marius shrugged the maroon jacket from his broad shoulders without needing to offer again, carefully straightening out the material before holding it out for me to slip into.
I smiled, not one that was forced or fake. I felt it tug up at my lips as his arms flexed beneath the material of his white shirt.
One hand at a time, I weaved myself into the jacket. There was no warmth left over from his body, but it was far better than the crisp nightly air that scratched at my skin.
“You are certain the hounds will not attack?” I asked, trying not to be overwhelmed by his closeness. Or what happened last time this little space between us was beheld.
“They would not dare if I am with you. They may stalk us, but that is as far as they will go. As long as we stay on the path and do not deviate, we will be safe.”
Marius had not mentioned Katharine’s visit and I felt that I could not simply add it into the, currently, stiff conversation. It had been a few, long, hours since I had listened in on them and I still felt guilty. Even more so to find out how personal the conversation had been. By the time his heavy knocks sounded on the chamber room’s door my eyes had dried, but the sadness had still taken root in my chest.
I had briefly looked to Marius’s wrist to see if any marks were left from his bloodletting. But his skin was untouched by scars or marks. As if noticing my stare, he tugged down at the ruffled sleeve of his shirt to hide his perfect skin.
“I thought we would spend yet another day in the study?” I questioned, hugging the jacket around my chest. It was so big the sleeves kept covering my hands.
“Another evening surrounded by books… ugh.” He poked his tongue beyond his lip. A tongue I had not long been so familiar with. “There is something I want to share with you that is far greater than that study.”
“How mysterious.” I laughed, hoping it covered my nerves. There was tension between us. An unspoken conversation left after yesterday’s abrupt ending. He had not apologised, nor did I expect him to. Marius was a perfect blend of cautious and polite. Offering a steady arm as we walked down the stairs yet keeping painfully tense beneath my touch.
We hardly exchanged another word until we reached the double, front doors to the castle. The very same that had been locked the last time I had checked.
Of course they now were left open.How convenient.As Marius pulled them open the evening breeze rushed into the castle’s entrance. The curtains across the windows flapped wildly, sending bouts of dust into the air. The flames across the grand chandelier that hung above us flickered, some even going out beneath the force of the natural, winter winds.
“Quickly,” Marius whispered. “Before it blows every candle out. This castle is far more… acceptable beneath the glow of fire.”
I moved with haste, tightening the jacket around me as I bowed into the gust and left beyond the doors.
My cheeks nipped beneath the chill, my nose running almost instantly as I stepped outside. The great doors creaked as Marius closed us off from the firelight.
Then we were bathed in night. Only the moon and stars a source of light above us.
“And you expect me to fumble my way around the grounds! I will walk straight off the path and into the jaws of your little pets,” I said in jest. However, even I could not hide the true fear I felt knowing they lurked in the shadows. Waiting. My power would be kept within, and that felt as though I was without my most important limb. My weapon.
I was… vulnerable.
Marius’s hand found mine and I gasped out of my mindless worry. It was not the warm, lifeful touch that fought away the cold. But it was comforting nonetheless. “I shall guide you. Do not worry yourself.”
It took a moment to relax into his control as he guided me through the dark gardens. I could make out some shapes, but without the light of a flame it was impossible for me to figure out where each step would end up. Soon enough my eyes adjusted to the eternal dark and my tight grip on his hand eased. But I did not let go.
“I hope you can swim.” His comment caught me off guard. Up until this point he had kept silent during our walk.
“Swim?” I questioned, just the thought alone sent a violent shiver across my skin. From my knowledge the nearest coastal line was days’ travel by horse, if you were lucky enough to have the coin to own one.
“One of the beauties of this castle is the hot springs located among the land. Back when I was younger the townsfolk would visit during the winter months to bask in the glory of the warmed waters. It was magnificent. A place in which I enjoyed to frolic. I thought it would be the best way to negate the colder nights.”
