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“I’m sorry you’re gone, Mum, that you were taken away from me. I hate that we had drifted so far apart and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what was happening to me. I should have warned you to be more careful of The General, I should have made you listen when you brushed away my concerns. I’m sorry that you didn’t get your wishes in death and that I didn’t ask more questions or put up a fight…but I promise you, I will put this right. For both of us.”
With that vow, I feel stronger. I’m no longer numb. There’s a fierce determination coursing through my veins. I will fight. I will use whatever perks being The Doe affords me to my advantage. I’ll be strong and I’ll gain power so that I can go after The General, and win. I will make him pay for all of the pain and suffering he’s caused me. For taking my mum and my home away. For stealing my innocence and everything in the world I hold dear.
And if that means I have to be the prized trophy of The Holy Trinity in order to make this happen, so be it.
Resolute, I cross campus and make my way to the canteen. I can play nice. I can do this. I know that Axel, Kaiden and Zie are powerful, and if anyone has the power and resources to take on The General and win, it’s them. So if I work with them to ensure they win this contest, and I become their prize, I’ll then be able to make The General pay.
As soon as I walk into the canteen, Kaiden waves me over. It wasn’t necessary. My eyes automatically sought them out the second I entered the building. They’re sitting in their usual formation, at their usual oversized table, and all eyes are on me as I approach them.
“Thanks…for waiting for me,” I clarify quickly before turning to Zie. “And for um returning my uh—” Fuck. I can’t say mum. “Things.”
Zie frowns at me. There’s a bang, the table jerks, and he hisses an expletive under his breath before glaring at Axel and turning back to me with a tight smile. “No problem. You’re welcome.”
“How did you get in?”
“The window, of course,” Kaiden quickly replies. I frown, smelling a rat.
“Okay, well, thank you. I’m going to grab some breakfast. Do you guys want anything?”
“Sit down, Peony,” Axel snorts, a smile almost tugging at his lips. “The Trinity don’t queue up for food like inmates.”
He called me Peony and his tone was almost friendly…and I didn’t hate it. I slide into the chair opposite Axel and ask, “Well, how do you eat then?”
“Watch.”
He nods to someone over my shoulder but before I can turn around, university waitstaff descend upon our table carrying plates and plates of food. Way too much food for the four of us. Kaiden and Zie load up their plates before the servers have even finished laying everything on the table.
“Well that explains a lot.”
“What?” Axel watches me with a satisfied smirk.
“I thought the oversized table was just for your ego.”
Zie chokes on his pancake, eyes bulging out, and Kaiden howls with laughter. Axel fails to look amused and indicates that I should eat.
I’m not about to turn down free food, so I quickly load my plate with pancakes, syrup and bacon. Axel scowls at my choices but he knows I’ve always had a sweet tooth. No amount of time apart will change that.
“So, to what do I owe the pleasure of this invite?” I say once I’ve eaten enough to take the rumbling edge of hunger off.
“We have business to discuss,” Axel replies.
“I wasn’t aware we had any business together. Only history.”
“You’ll never be history, Peony. Not when you’re my past, present and future, eternal.”
There he goes again, using my old nickname and tugging on my heartstrings. I’m being manipulated, that much is clear, but why? Axel’s started a new game and I need to learn to play along.
“Business then. What is it?” I prompt, trying to keep the conversation on track. I don’t want a trip down memory lane today.
“When did your mum die?” Axel throws me by asking suddenly. I feel all the colour drain from my face.
“A while ago,” I force out past the lump in my throat after a moment. My eyes are stuck to the half empty plate in front of me, but suddenly I can’t face another bite. I push the plate away.
“What happened?”
How do I answer that? Confess I have no idea how or when my own mother passed away? They’d have so many questions and I can’t explain that I was so entangled in a different kind of grief, that the news barely registered. By the time it hit home, all opportunities for asking questions were long gone, and the only thing that was left behind was crushing grief and guilt, multiplied tenfold.
Taking a deep breath, I steel myself to reply with a lie but before I can respond, a commotion breaks out all around us and everyone is suddenly clamouring to get to the huge flat screen TVs that are mounted high on the walls all around the canteen. Cries for people to shush and for someone to turn up the sound ring out. The Trinity move as one, getting to their feet smoothly and I quickly follow with far less grace.
