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“Ididjudge you for the way you handled the man who took your brother’s life. But I know now that if Rollins had succeeded in taking Emma from me, I would have done anything – anything - to end his life.”
Dane hung his head for a moment before saying, “I’m sorry if I made you feel like I was better than you because the exact opposite is true. You saved Emma’s life. If you hadn’t been there…”
Jax heard Dane choke back a sob and he automatically started moving towards the other man. But Dane’s hand came up to stop him and he stepped back.
“Don’t. Please.” The desperation in Dane’s voice kept him back. “The guest room is the one next to Emma’s. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Jax dropped down onto the couch and buried his head in his hands. Seeing Dane so wounded was ripping him to shreds but what the hell could he do? His job, he finally reminded himself. He could do his fucking job and keep Dane safe and then get the hell out of this place that was making him question everything.
* * *
Jax smiled as Emma jumped excitedly in his arms as the big Pinto horse stuck his head over the fence and reached for the carrot he was holding out. “You think he likes it, baby girl?” he said as the carrot was tugged from his grasp.
“She’s not answering you yet, is she?” Jax heard Rhys ask from behind him. The other man stopped next to him and eyed Emma with a look of trepidation while the baby stared back at him as if transfixed. “I suspect Dane’s gonna have his hands full with this one,” Rhys said as he motioned to the little girl. Emma instantly reached for him.
At the mention of Dane, Jax’s eyes searched out the man and found him still examining one of Callan’s horses in the open area next to the barn. “What’s wrong with him?” he asked Rhys.
“The horse or Dane?” Rhys responded. Jax sent him a dark look and Rhys put up his hands in supplication. “Astro picked up a nail in his hoof.” Rhys folded his arms over the pasture fence. “Not sure about the doc though.”
“Don’t call him that,” Jax said quietly.
Rhys glanced at him but didn’t question him on it. “Heard you guys had some trouble in town last week. You should have let me know.”
“So you could do what exactly?”
Rhys shrugged. “Help keep an eye on things.” He glanced back at Dane momentarily. “I’m guessing that whatever’s going on between you two isn’t making things easier.”
“Anyone ever tell you you talk too much, Tellar?”
Rhys laughed and turned so he was leaning back against the fence. “I’ve heard it once or twice.” The man grew serious and his green eyes pinned Jax. “Dane’s proven himself to be a good friend to us, Jax. If he’s in trouble, we need to know.”
“So you can do what? Bring that trouble to your door too? Haven’t your men suffered enough?”
At that, Rhys’ eyes sought out Callan who was holding the horse that Dane was examining. The big cowboy automatically looked up and sent Rhys a smile. Even over the long distance, the love the two men shared was clear as day and Jax felt a jolt of envy go through him. What would it be like to be connected to someone in that way?
“The sheriff said there were no leads,” Rhys said as he watched his lover for another long moment. He finally turned his attention back to Jax. “So what’s your plan?”
Jax sighed. “Same as it’s been all week. Stick by him and wait for them to make their next move.” Jax could tell the answer didn’t really satisfy Rhys.
Rhys rubbed his hand over the back of his neck, the nervous gesture putting Jax on alert. He doubted he was going to like what Rhys had to say next.
“I know you want to protect him, Jax. But what if you being here is doing more harm than good?”
Jax was glad he was holding Emma because he suspected if he hadn’t been he’d have Rhys on the ground by now. “Just spit it out, Tellar.”
“He’s not the same man he was before you got here. And don’t try to blame it on the fuckers stalking him because I saw it the day of the barn raising. It’s like being around you is taking a little more of him each day.”
“Go to hell, Rhys,” Jax snapped, the truth of Rhys’ words hitting too close to home. He tried to step around the man but Rhys put his hand out.
“Wait, just hear me out, please.” Jax stopped his forward motion and Rhys continued. “I owe you everything, Jax. You didn’t have to take that information to the district attorney to get the charges against me dismissed and you sure as hell didn’t have to come all the way out here to bring me the evidence I need to clear my name. The fact that you did it anyway tells me what a good man you are. But the reality is that you’re still just passing through, right?”
Rhys fell silent and shook his head. “Shit, I’m completely fucking this up.” He finally sighed and softly said, “Just don’t hurt him, Jax. He’s already lost too much.”
With that Rhys turned and walked away, leaving Jax to mull over his words as his eyes once again sought out Dane. His heart stopped when Dane looked up at him at the same moment and their gazes connected. Time stood still for a few long seconds and then Dane was turning his attention back to the horse. There’d been no look of longing or contentment like there’d been between Rhys and Callan. No, all that was in Dane’s eyes was pain and Jax knew that Rhys was right – he was the cause.
ChapterSix
“How about this one? It’s about ladybugs.” Dane let Emma hold the thin, colorful book as he grabbed the stack of books he’d amassed from his search of the small children’s section of the local bookshop. He made his way towards the checkout counter, his eyes briefly glancing at Jax where the man stood on alert by the front door. The ever present combination of need and longing went through him and he forced himself to look away.
