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“What are you so afraid of?” he pressed, willing to hear the truth from my heart.
You.Always. “Everything,” I managed to say. I was caught by surprise by how easily my mind responded. Yes, I was terrified of River and what having him in my life again entailed. He shook my foundations and threatened everything I had worked hard to attain. Engaging him would burn me, so it was no wonder I was beyond cautious to keep him at bay.
“You don’t have to be afraid, Cara. I’m here to protect you, if you’ll let me.” His words entailed everything. He was giving me the world on a platter. Above all, he was handing me his heart. He was unapologetic in showing me what was in it; what was in his soul.
It was too much too soon. Forever was too soon.
“River—”
“Cara,” he retorted with the same ferocity. One word, my name, and it contained everything I didn’t want to remember.
“You’re relentless.” Shaking my head, I stared at the cerulean vase on the coffee table, pondering.
He loved me. Deep down, I knew he still did. However, my heart distrusted him, and there was no way he could fix that.
“Am I? I didn’t realize.” He laughed melodiously, sending me straight to the shitters of memory lane.
His laugh was the sexiest thing I had heard in my entire existence. It was an absurd thing to say, let alone think it, but it was the truth.
“So, you’re drunk. I love a drunk Cara. You light up and come alive in such a beautiful way. I wish I was there to watch your animated face,” he carried on his jovial, teasing demeanor. And in the present state I was in, things could get shifty.
“I thought you loved me drunk because you used to get away with whatever you wanted to do with me.” Word vomit much?
“I did,” he murmured with a definite smile in his tone. “And you did give me free reign over that sweet body. Jesus, how I loved it when you submitted to me. Fuck, Cara.” There was no doubt he was transported back to the past. As was I.
The memory of us entangled in bed sent a shiver down my body. How he took charge. How he kissed and grazed my skin with his teeth. His vigor and passions … and how insatiable he was. He could go on and on until I was sated and unconscious from exhaustion. He loved just as he dreamed, larger than life, by giving his all, heart and soul, without restrictions. When he made love, I knew it with every fiber of his being, and each cell in my body hummed for his possession. He loved, he took, and he conquered, no holds barred.
No man could compare. I knew that now. He just made me realize how true that was.
This was bad in epic proportions. If only Parker could make me tremble the way this man could …
I loudly sighed, feeling the weight of a losing battle.
“Cara…” he said smoothly, looking like he had been vividly picturing me in a lurid way.
Biting my lip, I savored the sound of my name coming from him. “Yeah?”
Damn him. How was it possible he turned me on like no other man could?
“I love you. I fucking love you,” he confessed before adding, “And I’ve got to go, but I just wanted to say that I hope you can forgive me. Speak to you soon, my love.”
He didn’t give me a chance to respond before ending the call. It was a good thing since I had none. None to voice out loud, anyway.
How could he just state he loved me like it was the most natural thing in the world? How?
Like every encounter I’d had with him, I was left reeling and slept not a wink.
I couldn’t love him still … or I would be doomed forever.
