Page 34 of Savage

Whatever River had to say to me, it was going to be bad. How bad was it? Guessing from his wretched tone,pretty fucking bad.

With bated breath, I shut my eyes. Dread began to form in the pit of my stomach. My heart began to pound as my mind tried to reassure me that my boyfriend wasn’t going to confess that he cheated on me—not this nightmare again. Goose bumps prickled my skin as I began to shiver, not from cold, but from trepidation.

“Spell it out for me please. I need you to say it loud and clear.”

“I was out of my mind drunk after the show … but I still went to this penthouse party, and somehow Hailey was there, too. She approached me out of nowhere. I tried not to be rude after what she had done to me … but she somehow took that as a good sign and when she kissed me out of nowhere, I pushed her off of me. I was furious, and I thought that was all over, but Ari just informed me that there’s a video of it, though it didn’t show me shoving her away from me. Now everyone’s speculating I’m back with her again.” He paused, as if to gather his thoughts, as if to gather his bearings. His strength. “I’m really sorry. I know you’re out in Spain and will be away from this frenzy. That’s the only consolation out of this miserable situation. I beg you, don’t lose faith in me. I would never ever fucking hurt you, baby. I hope you believe that I love you, Cara. Losing you was a tough lesson, and I would never dare do something so stupid again.”

My palms began to sweat. My heart thudded rapidly against my chest. There was a dull pain in my heart. Like little pinpricks, it heavily throbbed.

Hailey … the image of them kissing killed me a little. I wouldn’t dare search for the video because I knew I would lose my fucking mind. And giving in tothatnegative headspace days before I was set to shoot my first movie was a huge mind fuck. No, I wouldn’t dare submit to the demons that circled around my mind. Tempting though it was, I knew what was at stake here—my career and the love of my life.

“Say something …” he begged dejectedly.

What could I say? I had to give him the benefit of the doubt. Besides, he was right. He wouldn’t lie to me, especially not when it came to Hailey. That woman had caused havoc in his projects. Had it not been for his music, he would probably be busy jumping through hoops to get signed for another film. So yes, I believed my man when he told me that crazy bitch was up to her old antics once again.

Staring at my lap, I took a deep steady breath. “River …”I love you.“I believe you.” The tightening on my chest began to dissipate, ebbing away that momentary pain that stabbed through me when doubt began to take hold of me. Thank goodness I saw through reason. River wouldn’t betray me, not for a second time. “This will be one of many tests. If I don’t trust you, then there’ll be no chance for us. So, this is me trusting that you won’t lie to me. That you won’t hurt me … That you love me enough to appreciate what you and I have.”

He groaned before letting out a laugh that showed how reassured he was. “You have no idea how relieved I am. I was thinking of not telling you, but I thought better. Fuck, this has been tying me up like crazy. Thank you, petal. Thank you for believing in me, even if my past makes you doubt me. Thank you for not listening to that, and paying heed to your heart.”

My heart.It was his. He knew it, too.

A small smile crossed my face as I loosen my tangled bun. “Me, too,” I softly whispered as I imagined how the rumor mill was having a field day of the footage. Good of him to warn me beforehand. That way, I would have every reason not to surf the web for the next couple of weeks. River’s words were enough to fuck with my head.

There was a thoughtful pause before River broke the silence.

“How’s it over there?” he asked, changing the subject to safer waters.

“It’s actually really nice. I met Juan Torres. He seems like a decent guy. I was expecting a diva-like attitude, but I got the opposite.” Which was a nice surprise. All the insecurities I had prior to coming here were now vanquished. Now I could focus on my work and how I could make my character better.

“I’m glad things are working great on your end. I actually called to say that I won’t be doing a world tour. However, I’ll do less than a dozen shows in Europe, and then another similar set here in the US. Ari and the team aren’t too pleased about that, but I just can’t commit to anything that might really push me over the edge.”

Why the sudden change?

Last time I had seen him, he was so hyped for the tour. Had travelling got to him? If his label had demanded that of him just for promotion, I could only imagine what was expected of him had he intended to go through with the tour.

My brows furrowed as I began to worry about his state of mind. If he was breaking at the seams while I was here in a different continent, it made me feel guilty somehow. Maybe this was another case of taking on too much.

“Is everything okay, babe?”

There was a ruffled sound before he made a strangled groan. “Yeah, just everything, you know. It’s catching up to me. It doesn’t help you’re not around to cheer me up.”

Thatand maybe too much partying perhaps? The man couldn’t expect to function properly in the morning after a night bingeing on alcohol.

There was something in his voice that foretold how much he was missing me, too, and that was something I couldn’t fix, either.

We were poles apart when it came to emotions. While I liked to hide my feelings unless it was necessary for me to say so, River’s emotions ran deeper. He wouldn’t hold anything back once he let that person in his life, in his heart. He once confessed that he had a hard time living without me. And now that he had me back in his life, getting back to that old lifestyle sure did screw with his mind.

“Aw, babe, I’ll be home before you know it.”

“I hate missing you like this, Cara. I wish I could hop on a jet and see you right now …” He would, too, if he wasn’t committed to his label at the moment. River and his spontaneity were legendary.

“I was just thinking about that earlier, actually.” I reflected on that moment when I had heard a loud rap at the door.

“It’s getting late for you, and you have a big day tomorrow. Work hard, but don’t forget to have fun, too, petal.”

“I won’t, babe.” I sighed, wishing he wasn’t so far away. However, as much I would want to dwell on my feelings, my body was ready to doze off. My eyes began to droop as I slowly lifted my sleepy form out of the chair and gathered the essentials needed for a quick shower.

“I love you.”

My heart lurched for a second as I treasured his words of affection. We will survive the distance. We yearned each other too much for the raging fire to dissipate and disappear.

“Love you, too, River Ellis. Always.”

Source: www.allfreenovel.com