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25
The End of the Affair, Graham Greene
As the speedboat bounces through the choppy waves that still seem to reach for the black clouds above, my mind is in just as much turmoil. The three fishermen who have come to our rescue are, apparently, Jago’s closest friends. Whom I’ve never met. As a matter of fact, I haven’t metanyof his friends. And it’s true that I know absolutely nothing about him. Or his past. Or his present.
He himself said he was a bad person, and I didn’t want to believe it. Everyone warned me about him, from my grandmother to the Coastal Girls to Jago himself. And I hadn’t listened.
Why had no one, not even Rosie and the girls, bothered to tell me about any of this? It was one thing to give me a vague warning to stay away from him, but this? Murder? Have I really made love to a murderer? I can’t believe it. And yet, the facts are all here.
The three sun-bleached, hard-set faces around me are as hermetic as a bank vault, avoiding even glancing my way. I swing my gaze towards Jago, who’s tried to give me a blanket I won’t take, a cup of hot coffee I’ve turned away and his arm around me that I’ve flinched from, even if only to keep me warm. For an island that’s barely a few miles off the Cornish coast, it’s taking forever to reach mainland.
‘I’ve gone and fallen in love with you,’ he’d said last night. And not in the proverbial throes of passion, but afterwards, in a moment of tenderness. So he couldn’t have meant he loved me as one loves a friend. He’d specifically said ‘fallen in love’. But how can you say that to someone you hardly know and, most of all, who doesn’t know you? Shouldn’t love be all about honesty? Shouldn’t he have told me about this Miranda?
And now, what am I supposed to do with his feeble excuses and explanations that don’t stick? They married in secret, against Grandmother’s wishes. No one knew. Then she died. I’m sorry for that, but he should have told me everything before he slept with me.
As the boat finally reaches the shore, Jago hops out into the freezing water and reaches for me. But I ignore him and jump out on my own, my legs recognising the sting of freezing water, nearly paralysing me again. I trudge on, chin up, eyes focused ahead on a crowd of people huddled in coats and scarves. My grandmother is the first person I see, along with Rosie, Faith, Nina and Nat.
‘Dear God, Emmie!’ my grandmother bawls, taking me in her arms, where she whispers, ‘I was so afraid I’d lost you for good.’
‘I’m alright, Grandmother,’ I assure as I hug her back, somewhat surprised by her emotional outburst.
She truly is shaking and her breath is uneven in my ear. My eyes swing to the Coastal Girls, who seem so relieved to see me again that they’re in tears, hugging each other because they can’t get to me quite yet.
‘Jago, you’re the hero of the day!’ someone cries.
‘Or the villain of the night,’ someone snickers.
Or a cold-blooded murderer? He could have killed me, too. Once a murderer… But he didn’t. He said he loved me. What am I supposed to do with all this new information now?
I look at him. He’s clearly heard the comments, but he seems determined not to let it bother him. What has he done exactly? Has he really killed this Miranda? What do I really know about him, after all? He could have duped me royally. He seems to have tricked many of his fellow villagers who have known him for years, and I’m blaming myself for falling for his charms? And am I going to hang around long enough to find out that I’m the odd one out of some torrid love affair? I seem to have a knack for trouble.
‘You’re shivering like a scared kitten. Let’s get you home,’ Grandmother sentences, nodding to Calvin. ‘Nettie’s made a nice hot stew to warm you up. You must be starved. When was the last time you ate?’
Last night. I had a bowl of steaming canned beef stew. By a blaring fire. In a hot bed. Hot in so many ways I can’t tell you about, Grandmother. And he said he loved me. But he was lying. Because he’s keeping secrets from me about another woman. His wife! Whom he may have killed! And if it hadn’t been for a complete stranger with a big mouth, I’d be going back to his place now to finish where we left off last night. And possibly for him to finish me off, seeing as I’m the only thing standing between him and a, if you’ll pardon the pun, boatload of money.
*
‘There, there, eat up,’ Grandmother soothes from her chair next to my bed. ‘What a horrid experience it must have been for you with that nasty, nasty man! Did he say anything untoward to you?’
Untoward? Absolutely not. Naughty? Yes, utterly! And now? Now what do I do? He’ll never come here to speak to me, and I won’t be let out of Grandmother’s sight until I’m up and running again. Which, judging by the way every inch of my body hurts, isn’t going to be tomorrow. Or the day after. But I can’t wait another day to find out the truth.
‘Grandmother, he saved my life.’
She spears me with a suspicious glance. ‘And for that, I will always be grateful. But, Emmie, that man is the devil himself. Please promise me you’ll stay away from him.’
I groan. ‘Grandmother, I need you to be honest with me. Anyone who seems to know anything won’t breathe a word about it. What did he do? This can’t just be about Nano, right? They were good friends.’
‘Ha! Good friends – ridiculous. Everyone knows that my husband died because Jago didn’t call an ambulance in time. If I had proof, he’d still be in jail. And not only that, but he also killed my granddaughter Miranda.’
An invisible fist grabs my throat and squeezes, making it hard to breathe. So Miranda was my grandmother’s granddaughter? My cousin? One I never knew I had. It seems that there are more ghosts in my family than I thought. In my own muddled head, picturing Jago as a bad boy sounds almost feasible. But these accusations from my grandmother’s lips? I don’t know what to think. One minute they seem absurd, but then the very next they seem plausible.
‘Your granddaughter?’ I manage.
‘He could have saved her. He’s an excellent swimmer. He savedyou, didn’t he? And now I know why. You’re his next path to our family fortune. But I’m not going to let it happen. You and Jago Moon will never see each other again. Do you hear me?’
No need to tell me that. Not anymore. ‘But certainly you don’t think that Jago cares for money.’
She raises her eyebrow.
‘I mean, he only wants what he claims is his. Why is he claiming it’s his? He—’
She suddenly takes the bowl of stew from me and slams it on the bedside table as she bursts into tears. I slowly ease myself out of the high bed until my feet are touching the plush carpeting and wobble towards her, my hand on her shoulder.
‘Grandmother… Please tell me – what has Jago Moon got to do with her? And did you know that they were married?’
