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‘You did,’ Eve replied, staring guiltily at the cup in her hands.
‘You knew me, and I knew you,’ Alex continued. ‘And I know for a fact you didn’t want Ben. So why did you do it?’
It took Eve a long time to answer. When she did, her voice wavered uncontrollably. ‘Because I was sad, and lonely. And Maxwell didn’t want me.’
Alex tipped her head to one side, waiting for Eve to say more. It was going to take more than this to move her.
‘You know Maxwell never came out to the pub with us, never did anything with us, in fact. Turns out, he had some other woman in Port Kernou. I always told you I was suspicious, didn’t I?’
Alex had to agree. They’d talked about it often, but Eve had never had any proof and when she would confront him he’d laugh it off, saying she was crazy.
‘I overheard customers whispering about it in the post office on the morning of the day you left. One of them was a mum at Stevie’s pre-school. Been going on for a few months, according to her.’
‘What?’ Alex slumped onto the swivel stool fixed into the floor beside Eve’s. It felt like they were right back at the quayside and Eve had come aboard between sailings to tell her the latest instalment in her crumbling marriage story.
‘I confronted him. He loves her, apparently.’
‘Oh.’ Alex absorbed the news. How could she be feeling pity for the woman who’d capsized her life?
‘Healwaysloves them.’ Eve arched a brow, before her face fell again. ‘He’s done it before. Loads of times.’
‘You never said.’
‘The marriage counsellor bloke we were going to in Truro said that if we wanted to stay together I had to stop punishing him and try to move on. Part of that was never criticising him in public. Not holding anything against him. That included telling people about the affairs.’
‘That’s crazy. He made you so unhappy.’
Alex thought of all the times Eve had wandered over to the riverside to find her, and of how reluctant she was to head home on Fridays after the pub quiz; how she’d try to keep Alex talking till past midnight standing in the street outside her house. She never wanted to go home.
‘I tried to keep us together. We were doing all right for the first few months after we moved to Port Kernou. I had the post office job, Maxwell was in charge of school runs and… well, not a lot else – watching daytime telly, mainly.’
Alex allowed herself a small laugh of sympathy. Hearing it, Eve’s eyes welled again.
‘I knew weeks ago that he was at it again, I knew in my gut, you know? Something really wasn’t right.’
‘And you tried to ignore it,’ Alex added.
‘For Stevie’s sake.’
‘But then…?’ Alex urged, knowing how the story ended, only not understanding the stages in between. ‘What made you decide to cheat with Ben?’
Eve recoiled, a sickened look spreading across her face. ‘I didn’t decide to. I was just… miserable, and that day, when I came round to drop your Christmas presents off, Ben invited me in. I knew what he was thinking, as soon as I got inside. He was looking at his phone, checking the time. We chatted for a bit, and he moved over beside me, wanted to know how things were with Maxwell and I couldn’t help crying. Apparently Ben had seen Maxwell with the woman that morning, going into a house off the market square, so that confirmed it. I knew we didn’t have any friends living round there so it definitely had to be her. I was sobbing and embarrassed and hurting, and Ben was right there, and suddenly he kissed me.’
‘Ugh, no, please. Don’t tell me.’ Alex wrapped her arms around her stomach.
‘I never had any intention of doing anything with Ben. But…’
‘But he paid you attention when you were low, and he had the opportunity to cheat, so he took it.’ Alex stood again, all her feelings churning. Hurt, anger, annoyance. What good was this doing her? This hadn’t helped at all. ‘You didn’t have to come here to tell me all this.’
‘I did, because I don’t regret losing Maxwell, and to be honest, Ben didn’t deserve you, so I can’t really regret that you’re not together any more.’
Alex’s eyes blazed but Eve pressed on. ‘I’ve always known he was no good. The way he always kept you hanging, never doing anything nice for you, never listening… but I didn’t ever want to say anything, and then, well, I went and proved he’s rotten, didn’t I?’ Eve drew a fist to her stomach as if she held a dagger and would pierce her flesh. ‘IknowI’m as bad as him – and Maxwell, for that matter – but the regret I’m left with… my only regret is losing you. You were literally the best thing that’s happened in my life since Stevie, and I hurt you so much.’ Eve broke down as she spoke. ‘I love you, Alex, and I know I’m a terrible person, and you’re right to hate me… only I don’t think you do hate me.’
Alex watched Eve bent double and crying hard. She’d never seen her friend like this before.
Eve talked on through sobs. ‘I wish we could go back to Port Kernou and just live on in our homes, without the men around, and Stevie there with me all the time, and we could just be friends again. We could just be happy. I would make it up to you.’ With this, Eve hung her head and wept inconsolably. ‘I know I can’t get you back in my life, but I had to tell you that I won’t forgive myself for hurting you.’
‘I think you hurt yourself more,’ said Alex, and Eve stilled, lifting her head slowly to meet Alex’s eyes.
