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‘You don’t have to cry. You’re right, Ben isn’t worth all this…’ Alex raised her hands, gesturing to the scene in the boat. She wanted to say he wasn’t worth all the theatrics. ‘He really isn’t. Losing Ben hasn’t hurt me as much as you think. I was more afraid of losing my spot at his mum’s dinner table. Coming here showed me that.’
Eve’s eyes grew wide.
‘I don’t miss Ben, it turns out. We barely spoke towards the end there, and we certainly didn’t… you know, not for ages.’
Eve clamped her lips and nodded in understanding.
‘You’re right about one thing. You did me a favour, Eve. Only you hurt yourself in the process. You don’t have to feel bad about me.’
Eve listened, astonished.
‘You and me, we were both lonely and stuck with blokes who didn’t make us happy, and we didn’t make them happy, and life was just passing us by.’ Alex sighed, her eyes glazing. ‘Do you remember when I came to Stevie’s pre-school sports day? Back in the summer?’
‘Of course, I do.’ A hint of a smile formed at Eve’s lips.
‘And we did the parents’ three-legged race?’
‘Because Maxwell refused to come, said he was busy?’ Eve added.
‘Yeah, busy watchingBargain Hunt.And we were losing until we both tripped and fell over the finish line.’
Eve’s mouth widened into a sad smile, and the sight of her old friend unable to be happy after all her difficulties turned Alex’s heart inside out.
‘I’m not coming back to Port Kernou,’ Alex told her quickly.
‘Because of me?’
‘No, because of me. I’m selling the boat and the house and I’m going to do something new. For me.’
Eve wept afresh, only these were happy tears and she really was smiling now. ‘You were never happy ferrying.’
‘I told you that?’ Alex said with amazement.
‘Never with words.’
‘It was that obvious?’
Eve only crumpled her lips in a sympathetic smile and nodded.
Alex thought back to the last months before she ran away. Dragging herself out of bed and down to the quayside every day had felt like moving through treacle. The thought of the long winter ahead with its sailings and sparse takings had chilled her to the bone. Yet she’d kept it to herself, not wanting to admit to anyone how badly off course she’d steered her life.
‘What areyougoing to do now?’ Alex asked.
Eve shrugged. ‘Go home, face the music. Let the talkers talk. Be Stevie’s mum. They haven’t advertised my job at the post office yet – not that I was much good at it. I only took it because Maxwell wanted me to.’ A shudder shook Eve’s body.
‘Still cold?’
‘Freezing.’
‘Here, try this.’ Alex placed the bundled ferryman’s coat in her hands. Eve looked warily at it, knowing exactly what it meant to Alex.
‘Go on,’ she urged, ‘it’s not mine.’
Eve stood and pulled the coat on. It skimmed the ground at her feet.
‘Better?’ Alex asked.
‘I will be… if you think we could salvage something? Of us, I mean.’
