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Three
Phillip
I’d reconciled coming home to, waking up in, and overall living in an empty house a long time ago. It wasn’t that I didn’t own anything, every room was appropriately decorated with things. All of them new within the last decade since I didn’t want any reminders of my wife. My daughter. The accident that took them from me twelve years ago but left me alive.
The pain had dulled with time, and usually I did a good job of ignoring the memories, but the woman in the classroom last night flipped a switch. It wasn’t that she looked like my deceased wife, but their mannerisms were similar. Seeing her so engrossed in her drawing, the way she caught her tongue between her teeth when she was focused, the fact that she was about the same age as Jodie… So much about the woman in class dragged painful memories closer to the surface.
I shook thoughts of the past aside, and rushed my way through a shower, trying and failing to scrub away the gray cloud that lingered over my head. Last night with Dustin was a mistake. I was happy to help Scarlet with her advanced drawing course—I loved knowledge and sharing that with other people—and I rarely regretted the sex when it came to Dustin.
But I needed to be dialing back our friendship, not pretending things were status quo. He was already going to be pissed when he found out what I was up to. When he learned I had an exit strategy to walk away from AcesPlayed.
I dressed and headed down to make breakfast. Coffee. But the dark kitchen was another cloud to the growing storm in my thoughts. There was a place across the street from the office, a gaming cafe that had fantastic coffee and croissants, and a bright, cheery vibe. A stop there meant not staying here any longer this morning.
On the drive, I cranked an 80’s hair metal playlist and tried to drown out my thoughts.
They kept trying to drift to the accident anyway. That day twelve years ago when I lost the center of my universe.
Nope. I wasn’t getting sucked into grief. Every time I tried to push the thoughts aside, Dustin rushed in to take their place.
He was better than drowning in sorrow. He and I met when he started working at Rinslet a few years back. They were one of the largest gaming companies in the world and one of their directives was to help shape new talent.
I loved being part of that. Dustin had more experience than most of our artists when he came on, and he was about a decade older. We clicked, we became fast friends, and when this new opportunity came up, we were sucked into the pitch.
AcesPlayed was new. Unique. Zooming toward controversial. Dustin was drawn to the vision of breathing life into this beast he helped create. In fact, despite saying he’d wait until today to work in a rebuttal to last night’s C&D email, he was probably up most of the night diving into his strategy.
Seeing Aces succeed drove him in a way I envied. I wished the same things pushed me, but my motivations for signing on were different.
I had hoped that since it was a new company, there would be even more chance for me to help new people grow into their potential. However, given the nature of the game, our hiring requirements were stringent.
Judith—the owner—needed experienced people who could show from their career that they could openly and freely discuss sex without the conversation turning into a harassment nightmare.
I didn’t blame her, but it meant I didn’t have the same chance to help people learn. She and I had talked about my leaving, and I’d promised to make sure my replacement was trained, if she kept my giving notice quiet until I was ready to make the big announcement.
Even Dustin—especially Dustin—didn’t know I had an exit plan.
The new person was starting today. I hadn’t met her. This wasn’t about friendship. I saw her portfolio, her raw talent, and I knew she had to be the one.
Maybe her starting was what had my mind in this unpleasant place. Not that it was her fault, but her arrival made my decision to leave more real.
Time to accept it.
I parked behind the building where our offices were, and crossed the street to Loading Java. A lot of us made regular stops here. The anime decor was fun, and the staff put up with our intense level of geekiness. We weren’t a big enough company to have things like a cafeteria, but in a lot of ways this was better.
Brandon, our Director of Music and Sound, was at a table in front of the shop, scrolling through his phone. Dustin had been a little miffed when Brandon landed a Director position despite being the only person in his department, but like me, Brandon had been around for a while. We’d both been part of Rinslet before it was known as that, and worked with Judith just as long. He had a proven track record, and Dustin was still struggling his way through a reputation he didn’t fully deserve.
Brandon looked up when I called his name and waved. “You got a minute?” He asked.
“Yeah. Let me grab something and I’ll be right back.” I headed inside for a coffee and muffin, then joined him.
He pulled an earbud case from his pocket and handed it to me. “Check this out.”
People thought this was odd the first few times he did it to them, but he made a habit of sharing whatever was on his phone, laptop, whatever, so he always carried a second, clean and paired set of buds.
I fitted the pieces in my ears. “Is it a surprise?”
Brandon always shared the most interesting things, from pieces he was composing to random videos of indie bands from all over the world, to the perfect foley effect.
“Yes and no. Danny and Reese being amazing are never a surprise, but this... Just watch.” He handed me his phone.
