AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I smiled. “Don’t I feel special.”
“You should. You always should. And I’m serious.”
I stumbled over his meaning. “You’re giving me permission to fall in love with my husband? So generous.” My teasing felt flat.
“No,” Ramsey said. “Even I can’t stop something like that. I’m giving you permission to fuck my boyfriend.”
“Did I mention how generous you are?” Despite parrying the comments, my mind was racing along the potential. Clinging to a desire I’d barely dared skim the surface of, as images teased me of being wrapped up in Hunter. Of admitting there was more of a connection to our sex. Of not having to assume he’d be gone in the morning.
Then the reality of last night brought the fantasy crashing down around me. “Pretty sure I’ve burned that bridge. He’s asking for things from me I can’t give.”
“That doesn’t sound familiar at all.” Sarcasm laced Ramsey’s reply. “You have your limits and he has his.”
Was he really comparing my desire to not drop my obligations to his cavern of secrets? “But unlike me, his aren’t reasonable.”
“Hunter will do the impossible for someone he cares about,” Ramsey said. “But he won’t watch them destroy themselves. That’s not unreasonable.”
What happened to our angsty-light conversation? “I’m not—”
“Have this talk with him. But I know you’ll work it out.”
“How are you so certain?”
“Because I love you both, and I have excellent taste in people.”
There were so many holes in that reply, I didn’t know where to start picking it apart. I also didn’t want to. “I don’t have your confidence.”
“So borrow some of mine.” Ramsey’s voice went muffled for a moment, as he talked to someone else, and then he was back. “I’m so sorry. I have to run. I miss you Taffy. Always when you’re not around.”
I shouldn’t say it. The words would hurt. But holding them inside didn’t make them any less painful. “I miss you too.”
“We’ll make this right, I promise.”
I didn’t know if we could, but as we disconnected I needed him to be right.
I sat on the bed for the longest time, staring at my phone. What was I supposed to do with my afternoon? If I checked in on the contractors at the shelter again, they’d probably bar me from the premises. I’d finished the month’s paperwork.
Was it too early to get ready for the fundraiser tonight? It was a more casual event, so I didn’t have to do the whole evening gown and heels thing.
Even though I was staying in the guest room, the bathroom was much larger than the one in my apartment. I’d been so busy, I hadn’t had a chance to try out the large tub. It would be a shame to move out and not give it a whirl at least once.
Move out, the words soured in my gut, so I ignored them and ran a bath instead. The water was a half notch above comfortable when I dipped my hand in.Perfect. I stripped off my clothes and slipped into the water.
The heat wrapped around me, yanking me toward serenity. Was I really fighting relaxation? Hunter’s and Ramsey’s words bounced in my head, demanding I give them attention.
Why couldn’t I just chill for a few hours? A question that extended far beyond the walls of this room and this moment.
I let Lyn down yesterday. Sure, it was a party, but what if it had been work? Or Luna needing something? Or a crisis with one of the kids? Not a basement flooding crisis, but the kind of crisis my sister had gone through.
If I pushed myself to a crash, to hospitalization, I couldn’t be there for them.
Or yourself,I swore that was Hunter’s voice in my head.
I sank lower in the water, until my head from the nose up was the only thing not submerged. If I relaxed now, what would happen? Anything worse than if I didn’t?
No. In fact, if something did come up, I could probably deal with it better.
Why did admitting that feel like surrender?
