Page 45 of The Roommates


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We’d walked out of Daria’s with our wallets, keys, and phones. Our laptops were still there, and a week’s worth of clothing. There was one thing I wanted to do. Well, two, but the second was probably driven by stress and may happen after the first. After I was finally honest with Tanner about how I felt.

As I opened my mouth, my phone rang. Daria’s name flashed on the screen. “Thank God,” I muttered, and answered. “Are you all right?”

Tanner fixed his attention on me with the question, and his feet stopped moving.

“I’m fine.” Daria’s voice leaked stress. “Will you give this same message to Tanner?”

“Of course.” I’d offer to put her on speaker, but there was a reason she called me.

She sighed. “You can come pick up your things anytime, just give me ten minutes warning. And…” Another sigh, that sounded like her trying to exhale the weight of the world. “This week was so much fun, but things need to go back to the way they were. We can’t do things like that anymore.”

“Is this because of Joe?” I winced as the question passed my lips, and Tanner clenched his jaw. “I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” She had gone from stressed to sounding flat. “And no, it’s because of the girls. I can’t disrupt their lives like that.”

We won’t be a disruption. Your kids are awesome. But that implied a commitment that went beyond what we had. “I understand. We’ll text you before we come by, and it’ll probably be later today.”

“Let me talk to her,” Tanner growled.

Not sure that was a good idea.

“It was fun. Bye.” Daria hung up.

I stared at my phone. This was always going to happen. Maybe not in this way, but there was no universe where we did anything but went our separate ways at the end of the way. I’d wanted more so badly though, that I’d convinced myself otherwise. My mistake.

At the self-confession, an empty pit opened up in my heart. What did I think was going to happen though? That we’d move in with Daria and be one big happy family? Because of a few days of incredible sex and other fun?

“What did she say?” Tanner’s question jarred me.

I looked up, studying his face. Those gorgeous eyes I’d lost myself in more times than he’d ever realize. Those lips…God,it was incredible kissing him. I couldn’t let him get away without telling him.

“Colin.” His voice was more insistent. “What did she say?”

I conveyed her brief message, still having a harder time grasping the words than I wanted to.

“How could she think… There was something there with her.”

Tanner’s retort echoed my thoughts in a way I didn’t want them to. So why did they also rub me wrong?

“I thought this was just a fling. Casual sex between three friends,” I said.

“It may have started that way, but she means a lot more.”

That was what I didn’t like—the qualifiers. This wasn’t the way I wanted to do this. I wanted to sit down and have a sweet conversation with Tanner, where I saidI love youand he saidme too. But this was where we were. “Was it just sex with me, or do I mean something more too?”

The way Tanner stared at me made my gut sink.

“Because it meant more to me,” I said. “Youmean more to me.”

“What do you…?” Tanner frowned.

Abort. Abort. But it was too late. I was The Titanic, set on course I couldn’t possibly change in time, toward an iceberg that would destroy me. “It wasn’t just sex to me. Not with her. Especially not with you. God, I love you Tanner. I have for years, and I didn’t think you felt the same way, but after the last few days, how can you… We’ve known each other forever. How could you say it meant something with her but not with me?”

“Because you’re—”

“Your pal? Your buddy? A man?” I didn’t want to hear what he was going to say. it would hurt too much.

“You say all that like it’s a bad thing. Your friendship means the world to me,” Tanner said. “And yeah, the sex was incredible, and it sure as fuck turned Daria on.”

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