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“Moonbeam?” Elliot was too amused by a pet name.
And I was bummed that I had to cancel my lunch plans. “Fuck off.” We gave each other shit, but with Elliot I never questioned that it was good-natured. No matter the words, we were friends at the end of the day.
“I didn’t say anything.” Elliot turned back to his computer. “We working, or you pissing off your girlfriend?”
“We’re working.”
24
megan
The world was an upside down, confusing place. It shouldn’t be. I had the one thing, the one person, I’d wanted for longer than not—I had Nigel.
I even stayed with him on Sunday night. Sleeping over. At Nigel’s house. In his bed. Why wasn’t that on my list, given how many times I’d dreamed about it?
But on Monday morning as I drove to my work and he headed in the other direction for his, the world felt out of balance. Maybe it was because I was returning to work at the place where I met Easton. The man I’d been engaged two less than two weeks ago. The man I’d spent months making plans to marry, and years dating.
In a single morning that was gone.
And I’d kept grief and hurt at bay by checking things off lists and road trips and sex with hot men. Now that the fun was over, I had to face real life again.
Reality was distinct and impossible to ignore when I walked into the school. Despite everyone having been on spring break for the past week, apparently news had already gotten out that I was no longer with the owners’ grandson.
Strolling down the hall, people stopped talking as I approached, and whispers fell in behind me to hit my back as I walked toward the teacher’s lounge. I only caught snippets of it, but I had a good idea of what they were saying.
This was the part of being me where I ducked my head and ignored it all. If I blocked it out, I could pretend it didn’t exist, and I wouldn’t upset anyone. Megan didn’t make waves, because hiding in the shadows was how I made myself stand out.
That didn’t make sense. How had I ever thought otherwise?
Nigel loved me for me. Did Easton ever see anything other than an object he could control and own?
Maybe that was my fault.
“…her fault…”
Even the whispers agreed.
“…stupid…”
“…vapid…”
“…probably deserved it…”
Something inside me snapped at that last one. I didn’t deserve what Easton had done to me. His version of compromise was whatever kept him happy.
Carly was right—what happened wasn’t my fault.
Easton had never loved me.
But to be fair, I didn’t think I loved him, either. I was just so terrified of being alone…
What if Nigel didn’t really love me?
He did. Only the insecure parts of me doubted that. But even if he didn’t, I’d be okay.
I walked into the middle of the teachers’ lounge, pulled up a chair, and climbed onto it. It teetered under me, and for a heartbeat, my stomach revolted, but I steadied myself.
“Excuse me,” I said loudly. A few people turned in my direction, and then stared when they saw me. “Excuse me,” I shouted.
