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Not unless you allow me into your senses more.
OK. But don’t kick me all the way out like before.
You have my word, Lily.
Barbas brushes a small bit of my consciousness aside which I can only describe as dream-flying.
I used to have dreams of flying all the time where I’d simply lift my feet and hover down a full flight of stairs or above the sidewalk. That’s exactly how it feels being partitioned from a portion of my senses, like a part of me is weightless and floating above it all.
I can still see the room and my mom, but it’s all different now, the colors strange, the lines off and sharp.
Just like back at my condo that one time.
Very soon. Any time now.
I glance at my mom’s chest, hoping to see some spark or soul bubble thing. But I don’t see anything except my mom.
Oh, I wish she would hurry it along. I know that sounds bad, but the quicker she dies, the quicker we can re-alive her, and then she won’t be in any pain, and my dad won’t have to worry, and—
I know what you meant, Lily.
I sigh. The last thing I want is for the demon in my head to think I’m a psychopath.
There! Do you see it?
I focus on my mom, but I don’t see anything. Just her.
I’ll need more control if I’m to—
Take what you need, just don’t lock me out.
More of me gets brushed to the side and, oh!
My arms are moving, but I’m not moving them. Weird. One over the other, my hands push against my mom’s sternum, almost as if giving her chest compression. Except they aren’t pushing, not really. They’re just pressing down, as if keeping something trapped under them.
Because that’s exactly what Barbas is doing.
I know, because for the briefest flash, I see it.
Not the golden orb of light I expect or an iridescent bubble, but a glowing crimson spark, so bright I want to shield my eyes against it.
I can’t, though. I can only look where Barbas looks.
He grunts and the spark reappears to my eyes, boring through his hands,my hands,trying to escape. Light seeps out through my skin, showering the hospital room in dancing arcs of color.
Put it back!I yell in my head to Barbas.
I’m trying.
I want to help, to add effort, but it’s already my body doing all the work, so I can only sit in the back of my head and watch, hoping this shit works.
Please, Barbas.
The demon brushes more of me aside, taking an even larger portion of control. He says something with my voice, words that aren’t English, and then…
And then my mom’s whole body is awash in crimson light.
It burns through her like a cleansing fire before suddenly burning out.
