AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Chapter Forty-Three
Thomas’ heart plummeted.
“What?” he managed after a minute.
Lady Evelina had pulled away and drawn her legs up to her chin. She averted her gaze, glaring furiously at the wall of bridles with tear-filled eyes. “I said, I think you should go. I wish it could be different, but it’s too late. I’ve already given my word.”
“That didn’t stop you from kissing me just now.”
Lady Evelina did not acknowledge this. She just kept her gaze trained away from Thomas. He wanted desperately to reach forward and pull her toward him once more. He’d been so happy, just moments ago—
“What can I do?” Thomas pleaded instead. “Tell me, Evelina, what can I do to make things right between us? I will do anything you ask of me.”
Lady Evelina shook her head. “Thomas,” she said thickly, after a long moment. “We are simply out of time. I am glad to have had these last moments with you; I shall hold them close to my heart as long as I live. That, I can promise.”
“But…nothing else?”
“No.” It seemed to break her heart to say it, from the catch of her words to the puffiness of her eyes. “Nothing else.”
They sat in silence with one another for a long time.
A bit of commotion passed by outside the door—horses whinnying and trotting about. One stableman shouted something at another. They must not have heard Diana’s orders to the servants in the gardens.
Risk and reality were setting back in.
And with them, the pain.
“I will leave you to it, then,” Thomas said hoarsely, before he could make any more of a mess of either of them. His head was spinning, fuzzy. He’d really lost her.
He’d really, truly lost her.
Evelina said nothing to this final declaration. Thomas went to the door and waited before going out of the shed, out of the ghost of the desire to leave the estate without causing genuine scandal. When the voices of the stablemen disappeared once more, he cracked the door and peeked outside: no one. Just the trees.
“Goodbye, Thomas,” Evelina whispered behind him.
He wanted to look back. To see the beautiful line of her, curled beneath him, once more. He wanted to hold her, to kiss her. To know everything about her, every like and dislike, every secret interest and hidden passion.
But he had already said his goodbye. If he looked at Lady Evelina now…he would not be able to bear the departure.
Thomas walked out of the room in silence.
It took every last bit of Thomas’ willpower to leave Alderleaf Manor as he had entered it; walking tall and confident, as though he belonged. Thomas had never felt like he belonged less. All of his old feelings of displacement upon his return to London were crashing over him once more. He was not fit to be a duke. He was not fit to be a man. He could not even win over the woman he loved.
He did love Lady Evelina. Of that, Thomas was now certain. As much as he had done is best to distract himself and avoid thinking of her these past weeks, it had all been for naught. Their final kiss burned against his lips, leaving an invisible, searing scar. He could not imagine what his life would be like now, moving forward. He could not imagine ever wanting to be with anyone else again.
Thankfully, Lady Diana had long since taken leave of him, and no one stopped him on his way out. The staff was still as overwhelmed as before, though the décor setup had progressed rather magnificently in the small time Thomas had been there.
He stepped out of the grounds.
He walked, dazed, up the street.
He remembered the carriage awaiting him by the park, and turned around, too shaken and upset to even feel all that silly about walking in the opposite direction he was meant to—
“Oof!” The Constable that Thomas had blindly charged into stumbled forward and nearly tripped on the cobblestone pathway. “Watch where you’re…oh. Your Grace. My apologies.”
“It’s no matter,” said Thomas distantly, barely taking in the Constable’s expression, which had moved quickly between affronted to a mixture of apologetic and stunned. Except… “Wait, you’re the same Constable who took my statement. After my carriage was attacked.”
“Indeed, Your Grace. What brings you to this area tonight? I hope the evening is treating you well, beyond our brief debacle.”
