AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Nicholas turned to glare at his cousin, surprised to see him still in the house. “What are you doing here? I thought you left.”
“I am spending the night to make sure you are not packing your bags and running into the night.” He leaned against the doorjamb and folded his arms across his chest.
“You think I would leave her?” he snapped.
“Well, youarea blackguard and you have been running for a while now.”
Nicholas hated that Ernest knew that dark part of him. He took a draft of his whiskey and picked up one of the darts he had thrown onto the billiard table. When he threw it, it hit the center. He should rejoice but he felt no triumph.
“I jest,” Ernest said, moving to the liquor service, “I know you will not leave her. I thought you could use some company tonight.”
“That is very kind of you,” Nicholas said and he was not being sarcastic. He let out a small laugh filled with self-derision. “You are more of her friend now than I ever was.”
“Someone had to fill your shoes. I never had a sister and having Jenny in that role is good for me.”
Nicholas was surprised by that revelation. Ernest had never given a damn about anyone in his life much less considered them family. Yet, here he was, calling Jenny his sister, and this further exposed Nicholas’s failures.
“What was she like?” he asked. “In the years I was away...during her transition into adolescence.”
“You have the rest of your life to know the woman she is now. She has changed a lot and I am not going to do your work for you.”
“I gave her a chance to cry off and she refused.” He threw the dart again and missed.
Ernest smiled impishly. “Did you ask nicely?”
No. He had insulted her instead and he did not know how to make amends. He had seen her only a handful of times at social events in the past two weeks and in those times, she had treated him with cool cordiality. There was a lot of awkwardness between them and it grated his conscience because he counted on their friendship to carry them through this marriage.
“Listen, Nicholas. Jenny would not have agreed to marry you if she did not think she could live harmoniously with you. This is your chance to take back those years you have lost. If you care as you say, you will see an opportunity here and not damnation.”
Nicholas spent the remainder of the night considering his cousin’s advice. He had been selfish only thinking about himself and the desire that had intruded into his life when he should have thought more about how Jenny must be feeling. How nervous and uncertain she must be.
* * *
“You look like you did not sleep at all,” Mrs. Atwood remarked when she entered Jenny’s bedchamber that morning with Sarah behind her, bearing a tray with a cup on it. The smell that was gradually permeating the air told her it was coffee.
“I did sleep,” she said. “It’s bride’s nerves.” It was true. Jenny had gotten some hours of sleep but she was still feeling weary and uneasy. It was her wedding day and she ought to be happy, yet she was anything but.
Knowing that the man she was marrying was repulsed by her, so much so that he had offered her the chance to cry off, felt like a blade cutting her insides. She had thought she would gain satisfaction by refusing to cry off to punish him but that had not been the case because she was instead rewarded with a hollow feeling.
“Have some coffee, my dear; it will make you ready for the day ahead.” Mrs. Atwood handed her the cup before picking up a note from the tray and giving it to her. “This arrived very early.”
One glance and Jenny knew who sent it. She lifted the seal and unfolded it:
I wish to send you flowers but they are quite mundane and will not do justice to what I want you to know. I am pleased you are the woman I am marrying and I mean every word. You are my friend and you will become my life partner. It is an honor.
Jenny folded the note and placed it on the nightstand. Then she drank her coffee, unwilling to allow herself to feel anything. If she did, she would soon be tumbling down the hill of unrequited love. She had to be strong. When it was time for her to depart for St. James’, she stood in the foyer with a rueful smile on her face, bidding the house and servants she had known her entire life farewell.
“Come, my dear,” her father took her arms and guided her to the waiting carriage.
Every yard the carriage covered, her heart beat faster. When the carriage stopped, she was unsure she could feel her legs at all. Her father stepped down and held his hand out to her. But uncertainty gripped her and she shrunk into the carriage.
It is not too late to get out, she told herself.
