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She could imagine it. She could picture him as a living corpse, driving the servants and the doctor alike, mad with his constant pestering. But she felt something much stronger as she heard this revelation; it meant he truly cared for her. Perhaps deeply. Of course, it’s human decency; anyone would ensure their guests remained safe and alive during their stays,but would they all go above and beyond like he seemed to do?
Perhaps she was being silly, and it truly meant nothing. But her heart skipped a beat, and color found its way to her face. She wished to see him, thank him, kiss him. The last one might be unexpected, but she wanted to. Where was he? Maybe asleep after he found out she was safe, or busy with his business. She would go and find him later, she needed to, to ensure that he was safe as everyone else claimed.
“I didn’t know…you said you saw him last night. Did he look all right then?”
“He did. Better than before.”
She was glad. “Was I honestly that bad? My body is aching, and I feel very faint, but it only feels a little sore now.”
“You were, Milady. Everyone was running around like headless chickens. Your welfare was all of our priority—I think everyone missed your presence around the Castle.”
“I didn’t mean to worry you.”
“We’re all thankful. Because of you, Walter is alive and well too,” said Fenella, and she smiled.
There was a small silence between them.
“Will you return back to your estate once you’re fully recovered? Well, after the storm has passed, of course,” asked Fenella.
Eloise hadn’t even contemplated having to return back to her…home. Of course, she would have to. However, things had changed so rapidly since her arrival at the Castle, she was terrified of what she would encounter back there and what would become of her relationship with Simon.
“I’ll have to, yes. It’s a bit scary, however. I’m not sure how to deal with it.”
“What about His Grace?” she asked. “I don’t mean anything by it, but everyone in the Castle claims you’ve become close friends, so I was wondering what would happen after—I hope I’m not prying.”
“No, no, you’re not. Please don’t worry about that,” Eloise said, supporting her chin with her hand. “If I’m being honest myself, I’m not sure…”
Simon’s boots rustled against the carpet as he strode through the halls with the warm linens in his hands, looking for the room Ellie was being cooped up in. She was yet to wake, but after the doctor’s positive news last night, he felt a constant warmness in his chest. It was the first time after a while that he felt so much…contentment all at once, and he was glad for it.
But of course, the happy news was bound together with the bad news. All he could do, for now, was remain by her side until she awoke and care for her as much as he could. After that, he would disappear from her life forever.
For now, he had promised himself he would relish his final days with Ellie, and he was adamant to do just that as he shrugged off thoughts of what would happen later, and continued marching down the cold stone corridor. But as he neared his bedchambers, the sound of Ellie’s giggles reached his ears.
His breath hitched in his throat as he closed in meters away from the door, its white wood staring back at him with intimidating disdain. So soon?
He stood outside her door, his arm holding the metal bar, intending to push it slowly and enter. But it never happened.
“What do you mean, My Lady? Aren’t you happy here?” It was Fenella’s voice.
Followed by Ellie’s sweet melodic sigh. He placed his ear on the door, intending to hear her answer, hoping for a positive one. “I’m not sure happy would describe it,” Ellie paused, and he could picture her chewing on her lips, struggling to think of her next words. “My life used to be a lot more simple when I was back at the Lyndon Estate. And…”
Not wanting to eavesdrop any further and believing he’d already heard enough, he stepped away from the door. Ever since the beginning of their encounters, Simon thought she was happy. She never showed any signs of unhappiness or dissatisfaction, and in fact, he believed she was enjoying his company. He felt a certain connection to her, one he hadn’t felt with anyone for a very long time.
But hearing this today, right this moment, terrified him. He was the cause of her problems. He was distracting her from something else entirely and was keeping her away from her happiness, the one she deserved more than he. This all started over a childish scheme to keep that happiness out of reach from her with the wager he’d orchestrated. Running his fingers through his hair, he stopped himself from chastising himself loudly, afraid she would hear him from outside the room. Instead, he screamed silently, angry that he had allowed his feelings for her to overtake him, so much so that he ignored the one thing that mattered the most: Ellie.
She isn’t happy here. You’re hurting her.
It was impossible to push that feeling aside. The feeling that he was the cause of all this. He threw the linens to the ground, stepping away and rushing to his study, his hands trembling and his heart beating faster and faster.
He needed a drink. More than one, in fact.
He would drink himself senseless until he could space her out of his mind.
So he could allow her to have the happiness she deserved. The happiness he had stolen from her.
