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There was only so much heavy stuff a person could talk about at one time. After my self-revealing statement, we ended up taking Cinnamon for a walk. I felt very much at home in Scotland now, though I knew that my days were numbered. Somehow I had to find the courage to say goodbye to this complicated, sexy, fascinating man.
In the midst of my turmoil, Cinnamon found a dead mouse and dropped it at my feet.
Finley belly laughed at my look of horror. Poor Cinnamon obviously didn’t understand why I wasn’t praising her. I couldn’t even bring myself to stoop and pet her with the mouse at my toes.
“Ick and double ick.” Even paradise had its nasty bits.
We walked all the way down the hill and over to the waterfront. I suppose Finley didn’t have to worry about running into Vanessa and his father. I assumed they would be eating at the hotel, probably in their room if Mr. Craig was so weak. It said a lot about the older man’s motives that he would attempt this trip in his condition.
Was it possible to make up for a decade of bad blood in one week? Or even two? I didn’t know. It’s true I still remembered the hurtful things my parents had done or not done when I was a child. Everyone wants his or her mom and dad to be perfect. In the end, they’re only human. And humans mess up. A lot.
We found the bench where we had spent some time the night of the ceilidh. Cinnamon’s leash was long enough for her to play without doing any real damage. The air was cool, but not uncomfortable.
A wave of melancholy swept over me as I counted the days I had remaining. Though I was eager to see Willow and Hayley again, I couldn’t imagine walking away from Finley and his adopted hometown.
I would anyway, because that’s what grownups do.
Finley bumped my elbow with his. “Penny for your thoughts?”
“There not even worth that,” I said. “I was thinking about Willow and Hayley and hoping they’ve had as much fun as I have.”
“You’ve given them the trip of a lifetime. You’re a good friend.”
“I hope so. I imagine we’ll spend hours when we get home sharing pictures and stories. Soon enough, Hayley will be back at school. I know Willow will be eager to return to her salon.”
“And you?”
“Oh, you know,” I said with a convincing laugh. “A busy social calendar. Fall in Atlanta is a wonderful time of year.”
“You love it there, don’t you…?”
“I do. You’d think New York would be a huge draw, and it is. I do enjoy heading north several times a year for Broadway shows and shopping. In the end, though, Atlanta feels like home.”
The subject ground to a stilted halt. I imagine both of us were thinking of all those huge photographs in Finley’s workshop. Even if he made peace with his father and started going to North Carolina occasionally for visits, he’d built a reputation here in Portree. And a life. I couldn’t see him ever going back for good. It wasn’t as if he had any interest in running the furniture business when his father was gone. I wondered what would happen to the family company since Bella clearly had carved her own path in the world.
I leaned my head against Finley’s shoulder and stared out at the water. If I stayed another month or two, I could make it to all the Outer Hebrides. To tick those islands off the list required plenty of days and planning and adjusting for weather delays. Maybe I could return in the spring.
Somehow, I was going to find the strength to say goodbye without a messy, emotional scene. It wasn’t Finley’s fault I’d fallen in love. I didn’t want him to feel sorry for me. That would be the final blow.
When the time came, I would thank him for his hospitality and ride off into the stunning Scottish sunset, metaphorically speaking.
I should probably go sooner than later, but cheating myself out of the last days I had left was unthinkable. Either way, I was going to grieve.
Either way, I went home without Finley.
