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Dinner is fine. Can we do seven?
Her phone dinged again...
Works for me. I’ll pick you up then.
She gnawed her lip. But decided to add one more note...
Have fun at Joshua’s bachelor party!
After a long silence, all she got was the thumbs-up emoji. Jake could be busy. Or he wasn’t interested in a long text exchange.
No need to feel rejected.
When she glanced at her watch, she saw that she had a little time to kill before she caught the train. Too bad the Rockefeller Center tree wasn’t up yet. Maybe she could bring Emma in a few weeks. At four, her precocious daughter was more than old enough to enjoy the treat.
Since Nikki’s shopping errand had been accomplished with time to spare, she decided to walk despite the gloomy weather. She could definitely use more exercise. Everywhere she looked, retail establishments were beginning to deck the halls for the holiday season.
Thanksgiving was the weekend after Joshua’s wedding. Barely two weeks away. Nikki and Roberta never made a big deal about the holiday. Nikki often baked a pumpkin pie. And sometimes they cooked a small turkey breast. But the celebration was low-key.
When Nikki was in high school, she remembered huge Thanksgiving spreads, mostly put together by the Lowell cook and housekeeper. As a kid, Nikki had never really thought about the work it took to pull off something like that. Or the expense.
Vernon Lowell had loved hosting lavish celebrations and inviting fifteen or twenty of his friends and business associates. The enormous cherry dining-room table could seat two dozen. The chandelier was actual Venetian glass. The priceless Persian silk rug and the enormous sets of china, crystal and heavy silver had all been sold off after the patriarch’s disappearance.
Nikki had nothing of that era to pass down to her own daughter.
It didn’t matter, she told herself firmly. Emma knew she was loved, and that’s what mattered.
Eventually, Nikki made her way back to Grand Central and caught the train home. This time she didn’t sleep. She worried. Did she and Jake have anything in common anymore? Could she step back into his world even temporarily? Could she sleep with him and let it be no more than that? And what about the fact that he didn’t understand how much she had changed?
She knew he wasn’t staying. But she badly wanted him to acknowledge all the ways she had survived and thrived. Something deep inside her craved his approval and his love.
And if that wasn’t the most dismal admission a woman had ever made, she didn’t know what was.
Arriving on the doorstep of her familiar small house calmed some of Nikki’s nerves. She and Emma had made it this far and had a good life. Whatever came next, they would handle.
When Nikki opened the front door, the aroma of homemade chicken-noodle soup wafted out. Though her mom and Emma had finished eating, the soup was still warming on the stove.
Nikki shrugged out of her coat and hung it up on a hook near the door. Her shopping bags went in a nearby closet. Then she hugged Emma and smiled at her mom. “Thanks for keeping her this afternoon.” She tried never to take her mother’s help for granted, even though Roberta enjoyed time with Emma.
Emma demanded to be picked up. Nikki nuzzled her daughter’s hair. “You smell like dessert,” she teased.
The routine of the next hour and a half was comfortable and familiar. At Nikki’s request, Roberta stayed. When Nikki told her mother they needed to talk, Roberta raised an eyebrow, but nodded.
At last, Emma was asleep. The two women made their way to the tiny living room, turned on the gas logs and put up their feet.
Roberta sighed. “This is nice. Did you find a dress for the wedding?”
“I did,” Nikki said. “I’ll try it on for you sometime soon. Thanks again for keeping Emma. I tried to get back as quickly as I could.”
Roberta cocked her head. “You said we needed to talk. Is this about Jake?”
“Not directly. He and I are having dinner tomorrow night to discuss Emma and the future.”
“What’s to talk about? He’s her father.”
“Jake being Emma’s daddy isn’t what I wanted to talk to you about, Mom.”
“Oh?”
