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For a very long time, he had been satisfied with the status quo. Or, at least, he had convinced himself he was. When Joshua’s phone call came out of the blue saying that Vernon was alive, it had been an electric shock to the system.
The Jake who lived day by day and never worried about anything was suddenly jerked back into the truth that he was indeed tied to other people. Despite time and distance, he was still a son, a brother. And now, a father, too.
What he was to Nikki remained to be seen...
Oliver approached him and bumped his knee. “Play me some pool?”
Jake finished his drink and set it aside. “I’d be happy to kick your ass. Lead the way.”
It wasn’t as easy as he had imagined. Though Jake was a shark when it came to the pool table, his baby brother was a different kind of wizard. Jake lined up his shots with cool precision, sinking ball after ball.
Oliver, on the other hand, played wildly, taking dumb chances that paid off. After four games, they had each won twice. Both men had shed their sport coats and rolled up their shirtsleeves. Jake raised an eyebrow. “Best three out of five?”
“Nope.”
“Nope?”
Oliver wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. “I learned in recovery to be satisfied with ‘enough.’ That who I am is sufficient. Now, when those competitive rushes try to drag me into deep water, I step away.”
Jake frowned. “You know we weren’t playing for money, right?”
“Doesn’t matter. I still have that killer instinct. And it can get me in trouble. So I stop and take a breath and ask myself what’s really important. You should try it, Jake. It’s good for the soul.”
Oliver excused himself, leaving Jake a lot unsettled and a little bit pissed. He was damn glad his sibling had beaten addiction, but Jake didn’t have similar problems. He didn’t drink to excess. He’d never done drugs. Why did Oliver’s implication sound so judgmental?
Maybe Jake was making a big deal out of nothing. So Oliver didn’t want to play the tiebreaker. So what?
Jake was leaning against the momentarily empty pool table, brooding and watching the nearest TV screen, when the man of the hour crossed the room in his direction. Joshua looked relaxed and happy. For a split second, Jake was jealous. Jealous that his twin had found love and challenges and purpose in his life.
The truth was, if anybody deserved that trifecta, it was Josh.
Jake grinned at him. “I still can’t believe you’re getting married. And leaving Black Crescent.”
Joshua lifted an eyebrow. “The job is still yours if you want it.”
The urge to say yes came out of nowhere. Jake quaked inside. Here was an opportunity to fit back into the fabric of Falling Brook, to grow close to his family again, to build a bond with his daughter. To make Nikki proud. The temptation dangled. But it would require stepping up to the plate. Changing. Growing.
His gut clenched. Back away.
“Lord, no,” he said, managing a chuckle. “I’d be terrible at it. It’s one thing to take risks with my own cash. I wouldn’t want the responsibility of handling other people’s money, but I don’t mind helping you with the CEO search.”
“Then what do you want to do, Jake?”
The serious question caught Jake off guard. He hadn’t expected to be grilled in the middle of a party. “Same thing I always do, I guess. Be me.”
Joshua’s gaze showed concern. “We all have to move forward. Whether we want to or not. Don’t let Dad control your life.”
The expression in his twin’s eyes baffled and bothered Jake as much as Oliver’s pseudo lecture about being enough. “That’s bullshit,” Jake said angrily, keeping his voice low. “Dad doesn’t control me. I haven’t seen the man in fifteen years. Are you nuts?”
“He casts a long shadow. And now even more. He’s going to spend the rest of his life in prison, by all accounts. It would be foolish of us to let him affect our choices. I’ll admit that I’m being selfish. I lost you for a decade and a half. I don’t want to lose you again.”
Joshua bumped Jake’s shoulder with an affectionate fist and walked off, leaving Jake with the strongest urge to run out the door and keep on running. That’s what he did when things got tough. But this was his brother’s bachelor party. His twin. His other half. He couldn’t bail on Joshua. Not tonight. He’d done it too often already. He owed Josh.
He certainly didn’t deserve Josh’s goodwill and forgiveness. Jake had left his brother holding the proverbial bag. When Vernon disappeared, Joshua had dealt with the feds and the insurance companies and their mother and everything else in the midst of panic and grief and confusion.
What had Jake done to help? Nothing. Nothing at all... He had disappeared, severing the ties that might have sustained him in his grief. He might be slow, but he was finally beginning to understand how much he had lost.
