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“Where?”
“Near Margo’s place. Might as well make sure everybody’s doing their job while we’re out.”
I huffed out a laugh, but I kept following him. The darkness of the night sky was alleviated by a full bright moon. It would have been an amazing time for a run with the pack, but everybody was too busy.
“What are you going to do after school?” Victor asked as we walked. “Stick around or what?”
“Not sure. College, if that works out.”
“Close by? You could go to college in Europe. We could head out together.”
I stopped walking to gape at him. “You’re leaving?”
He shuffled to a stop, keeping his back to me. “Maybe.”
I caught up to him, gripping his shoulder to force him to look at me. Not so long ago, he might have bitten my head off for the same action. “Maybe? What’s going on?”
He shrugged, looking anywhere but right at me. “Maybe I belong with Jeremy. Maybe I should be alone. I don’t know yet, but I’m not sure I fit in here. Not sure I’ll ever be right.”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you still need the alpha. I don’t know that Jeremy will be enough.”
The sky had darkened, and the air grew a degree or two colder. Victor shoved his hands into his pockets and moved on. I kept pace, prepared to force the issue. There was no way Victor was ready to leave, no matter how much progress he had made. Time with Jeremy would set him back.
And I would lose a friend.
“Things are good most of the time,” Victor said. “When the alpha is around or I’m hanging out in your house or with you and Margo, I feel all right. But at my place, around the others, sleeping there, it’s hard. I’m on edge all of the time.”
“Did anybody start something?”
“It’s not that. I’ve always felt like this. I thought I was supposed to feel this way, but I knew you didn’t, and that always frustrated me. Ever since Mara died, I’ve felt this extra empty space, and I can’t fill it for good. Things are okay for a while, but then it gets tough again, and I don’t know how to deal with it. So maybe it’s this place, this pack. Maybe I’m out of balance because I don’t belong here.”
“You’ve been weird,” I said. “But you’ve made some good changes. You’re not as aggressive or ready to snap.”
“Not at my place though. I’m constantly ready to lash out there. I know that’s not how Nathan is at home. I suppose I always thought he was hiding it. That behind closed doors, he was as aggressive as I felt, that he couldn’t possibly get along with Byron. I was wrong, and that’s because they’re meant to be in the same pack.”
We walked in silence until we reached Margo’s street. We huddled together under a tree as drops of rain began to pour.
“You could try talking to Nathan or Byron about it,” I suggested. “Or even Ryan.”
“I don’t want them to think I’m complaining.”
“Want me to bring it up?”
He shook his head, but he looked miserable.
“If you leave, then who’s going to help me look out for Margo?” I said, surprised by how sad I felt at the thought of him leaving. We hadn’t always been friends, but I thought that had changed.
He met my gaze. “I’ll stick around until this stuff is over. You can count on me for that much, and… I’m sorry for how things were before. I know we made you put up with a lot.”
“It’s nothing.” I waved his words away. “It was better for the group for me to take it. Trust me.”
“We’re not the same,” he said in a stubborn tone. “I get that now. We’ll never be. You’re the kind of wolf who stays here. I’m the kind who runs with Jeremy. I have to accept that.”
“Why would it have to be that way? That’s stupid.”
“Then maybe stupid wolves run with Jeremy!” He faced me, aggression rolling off his body in waves of heat.
And I did the stupidest thing possible. I laughed.
