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“I swear I don’t want to hurt anybody. That day with Pavel was a complete accident.”
“Probably worked out for the best in the end. Your uncle would have made Pavel look like an even bigger coward in front of everybody.”
I pulled up my hood. “He scares me, too.”
“Good. That means you’re nothing like him.”
I glanced at him, unsure if he was making fun of me, but he looked deadly serious.
“I owe you,” he said. “You saved my brother, so I promise I won’t let that man hurt you. You don’t have to be scared. I pay my debts.”
“Don’t,” I whispered.
“What?”
“Don’t get in his way. You won’t like how it feels.”
“What else can we do?”
“Maybe I can—”
“You can’t,” he said sharply. “You’re not strong enough right now. Focus on getting stronger, on staying alive, and let us worry about the rest.”
I wasn’t sure if the conversation helped or not, but I felt more comfortable around Jorge by the time we arrived at Dorian’s house.
“Go on in,” he said. “I’ll wait by the car for you. Take as long as you need. I’ll nap or something.”
He left me there, but I couldn’t bring myself to go inside. There were too many people hanging around, and I didn’t feel comfortable. I was about to text Dorian to come outside when I spotted Alison. I jogged over to her, but she backed up when she noticed my approach.
I stopped short, sickened by the horrified look in her eyes. “I wanted to talk about what happened before.”
“Well, I don’t. Leave me alone.”
“What’s up?”
“You smell like death,” she hissed before dashing off.
I froze. Was that why Jorge had insisted I wasn’t strong enough to help anyone? I had to leave, couldn’t let Dorian think the same thing about me. Even Eli had called me a monster. Alison thought the same. I couldn’t risk seeing that look in Dorian’s eyes, too.
I ran back to the car. Jorge was leaning against the door, messing with his phone. He looked up in surprise. “That was quick. Did something happen?”
“No, I’m tired. You were right. I don’t think I’ll be helpful until I build my strength back up, or at least get more sleep.” I tried to keep it light-hearted, but Jorge kept looking at me as though he saw through my lies.
“It’s up to you,” he said at last.
“I want to go home.” I got into the car and hoped he would stop asking me questions because the lump in my throat was getting too big to deal with.
If I smelled like death, constantly reminding everyone what I was, then how could the pack accept me? How could Dorian kiss me? How could my parents deal with a child who vomited black goo?
Things kept getting worse, and I didn’t have a clue how to deal with half of it.
Dorian had been distractedby the baby, but I couldn’t hide from him forever. I had to go back to school. Besides, I had promised to talk to him about the things bothering me. I still had to figure out how to broach the subject.
Alison’s reaction stung. Maybe I wouldn’t even need to bring it up. Maybe I still smelled like death. The vomiting had stopped, and I no longer saw death in the mirror, but who knew what was going on with me?
Mam dropped me off at school, warily telling me to call her if anything happened. I smiled and acted like nothing was wrong then went through the school gates. As soon as the car left, I went back outside because I had sensed something familiar.
Vira was standing under a tree outside the school, a shawl gathered around her head. Without thinking, I walked straight for her.
