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“You’ll need to be quick,” Amelia said. “You can’t feel guilty or hesitate. You must be quick, precise, and sure. After everything I’ve learned, I think it’ll be better if you quickly bite her several times. I’ll guide you. Whatever is in us that passes this on will flood her body, hopefully quickly enough to circumvent the otherness in her blood.” Her voice shook. “If her body accepts this, it’ll be quick.”
“She could go into shock,” Byron said. “This will be a battle. The wolf will try to win. Let it.”
“Heddy, Evelyn, and Stephen will help,” Amelia said. “I’ll apply the ointment I prepared earlier. I had a strong feeling about it earlier. It feels right to do this. Nothing is warning me to stop.”
“What will the ointment do?” Dorian asked.
“In theory, speed things up and prevent any airborne germs or whatnot from getting in. I’m paranoid since that time with Stephen.”
Dr Rivers winced. “I guarantee you that this will be different. The blood transfusion was the problem then. Margo will do fine. I know it, but if anything goes wrong, I’m here to help. We’ll get through this.” He met my gaze. “I won’t watch you die, I promise, but I can’t tell you that this won’t hurt.”
I already knew. He had described his experience in specific, incredibly detailed terms that threatened to give me nightmares, but I was glad I knew what to expect all the same.
“I’ll shift now,” Dorian said. “Hopefully, she’ll remember me if we’re in the same form when she shifts.”
I loved how he said when rather than if.
“How could I forget you?” I asked, my voice breaking.
“It’ll be confusing,” Amelia said. “Like watching somebody else control your body. It can take a while to be truly aware, to connect those two pieces.”
I already knew what that was like. I was determined to stay in control.
Amelia hesitated. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Yes,” I said. “This is my only chance. I have to do this.”
Dorian stripped off. He held my gaze as he shifted into his wolf form, his body jerking and breaking as it rearranged itself. Once it was over, he sat by my side, waiting.
“You’ve seen this before,” Amelia said. “You’re too calm.”
As long as I locked gazes with Dorian, I could do anything.
“Are you ready?” Nathan asked.
“Wait.” I looked at Vira. “Swear you’ll help them with Eli if this goes wrong. Please.”
Her eyes shone. “I swear it. I’ll do what it takes. Whatever it takes.”
I stared up at the ceiling for a moment. “I’m ready.”
Amelia lit candles all around us then laid crystals on my forehead and solar plexus. “This probably isn’t necessary,” she said. “But a little extra good luck won’t do us any harm. I’ve asked our ancestors to guide me, to make sure we’re taking the right path.” She whispered under her breath then in words I couldn’t understand, but it sounded almost like a song.
I looked for Dorian. He was still watching, waiting, and all the while, Amelia continued. I started to drift away, wondering if that was magic or death. Dorian’s eyes were the only thing grounding me because I was already floating in a different place, between worlds, where pain didn’t exist. But death was everywhere, in every direction, waiting for me.
“It’s time.” Amelia’s voice sounded distant. “Now, Dorian.”
He whimpered, then bent his head to bite the wrist she pointed at. I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment, too frightened to cry out in case I made Dorian panic.
Pain shot up my arm, twisting and turning as it made its journey. I was getting used to it when my other wrist was bitten. I bit down on a whimper, but the second bite felt like metal spikes before the pain twisted up to my shoulder. My chest began to simmer and burn until sweat dripped from my forehead. At least I wasn’t cold. It had been so long since I’d felt truly warm.
Amelia must have spread the paste across the wounds because a sudden cooling sensation flooded from my wrists. The smell made me want to vomit.
Dorian leaned over my face, nudged at my chin. I lifted my head back to give him room and braced myself. The bite at my throat made me scream. My brain couldn’t register the pain for a moment, only the fear and the unnaturalness of it all. Then the agony began, and I couldn’t stop screaming, though it sounded more like a gurgle.
Somebody was crying. Somebody was banging on the door. A growl at my ear made me squeeze my eyes tightly closed. Yet it all felt far away, in another world as though I were speeding in some other direction, creating distance between me and everything I had ever known. The pain cut through my neck, chest, and up to my head, spreading rapidly with bursts of fiery heat. My heart beat so fast that I was sure it would explode. People kept talking, touching me, but I couldn’t see them. I reached out, felt fur, and gripped hard.
My body convulsed as the pain rushed through me, concentrating over my heart. The ointment did nothing to soothe me anymore. Somehow, a violent wind spun against me. Was I outside? I didn’t understand anything but the fistful of fur I held onto. I thought I heard chanting, but I didn’t recognise the voices. My mouth fell apart, I thought. I called for Amelia, to make sure I could still talk, that my tongue hadn’t disappeared, and a sound released from my mouth, though it barely formed a word.
