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Twenty-Five
When Jayson walked into the ThomKnox building, a cup of strong coffee in hand, he didn’t go straight to his desk. Instead, he entered the elevator and pressed a button for the top floor.
The executive floor was humming as per usual. He heard the quiet purr of office landline telephones interspersed with the delicate tapping of high-end keyboards. Like in the tech department, everyone had the sleekest, newest equipment and the flattest screens. Unlike tech, the desks weren’t littered with candy bar wrappers or several paper cups that used to hold coffee. It was as if everyone up here knew they were in the presence of greatness. ThomKnox royalty.
Gia belonged up here.
She’d been working closely with Jayson throughout their marriage and after, and now he saw that for what it was. He was holding her back.
As long as he remained closely intertwined with her, she’d continue to vehemently deny herself and give him favor. He knew that was because she loved him—maybe not as a husband any longer, but she couldn’t turn off her emotions like a switch.
Neither could he.
He’d fallen in love with his ex-wife, against his better judgment or any iota of common sense. He’d always loved her, even when he’d been trying to bury his feelings for the sake of saving face during their rocky divorce. But since they’d reconnected, he’d felt that love on a deeper level.
No longer was he focused on gaining ground or being right. He wanted to give her what she deserved because she deserved it. Sacrifice, and vulnerability, evidently went hand in hand.
Ultimately, no matter how much money he made, no matter what kind of luxe lifestyle he lived, he didn’t belong in the same category with Royce or Bran, and especially not with Gia. He’d been fooling himself. He didn’t know if today’s sacrifice would make up for years of treading where he didn’t belong, but it was a start.
He crossed the room and silence fell. Fingers stopped tapping on keys and interested eyeballs landed on him. He felt Taylor’s burning gaze as he stepped past her office and angled straight for Royce’s.
They must have heard what happened after they left the house. Gia told them, or maybe Macy. It’d saved Jayson the trouble, he supposed.
He let himself into Royce’s office after a brief knock. Gia’s oldest brother sat up tall at his desk, his face a mask of anger. He looked as though he had something to say, so Jayson let him.
“Gia always wanted what was best for you,” Royce said. “She was brokenhearted and sad after the divorce and still she insisted that nothing change between us. I honored that.”
“I know you did.” The Knox family had been incredibly accommodating.
“And you repay my family’s loyalty by allowing my father to concoct this ridiculous plan? When you’d already accepted the CTO seat because you married Gia. If you think I’ll place you in the role of vice president—”
“I don’t want to be vice president. I never should have accepted the role I have now. At the time I wanted to please your father and I thought that would help Gia see me as worthy of her.”
Some of the fire went out of Royce’s expression. He let out a long sigh. “She always saw you as worthy, Coop.”
“Sure about that?” Jayson asked. Royce didn’t answer. “I was a guy from a broken home who built websites. It was crazy to imagine myself worthy of marrying into the great and powerful Knox family.”
“We never made that distinction.”
“You never had to. Gia loved me and Jack validated me. You accepted their approval at face value.” Jayson took a breath. “I was never going to accept a VP position. Jack was being Jack. He steers his children’s lives into the direction he believes is right. He was orchestrating a Jayson-and-Gia reunion.”
Jack had called early this morning. He’d apologized for the things he’d said at the party. Jayson told his ex-father-in-law that he wouldn’t have to worry any longer. Jayson had a way to fix everything that had happened. To set things right again.
“And now?” Royce asked.
“Now what?”
“You and Gia have been...” Royce closed his eyes as if he couldn’t bear saying it aloud. “Spending time together.”
“Not anymore.” Admitting that aloud hurt worse than he could have imagined.
“Was it only physical for you?” Royce shifted in his chair like he was uncomfortable asking.
“Why else?” Jayson lied. He’d been close. So damn close. Before Gia had overheard that conversation and learned the secret he’d been keeping—before he’d blown everything, he’d been planning on telling her exactly how he felt about her.
That he loved her. He’d fallen in love with her again, only this time he believed himself incapable of screwing up. He’d committed to honoring her needs—her actual needs—and meeting them.
Then his past had bitten him in the ass and he realized he wasn’t incapable of screwing up. He was a screw-up. No amount of time could fix that.
