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Chapter Twenty-Four
Vivian
On a chartered yacht in Lake Michigan, Walt and I are in the process of tossing our father’s ashes overboard.
Dee came along for the trip, but for this private moment Nate pulled her to the side to teach her how to drive the yacht. He knew Walt and I needed a moment.
My brother and I watch as a cloud of ashes hits the water, the individual granules settling for a split second before sinking below the surface.
“He must have started out wanting to build a business for the right reasons,” he says, his eyes on the water. “Don’t you think?”
“I like to think so.”
“No man makes a goal to become a criminal and rip off the people who love and trust him. That’s insanity. Dad wasn’t insane.”
“No, he wasn’t. He had an ego the size of this planet, though. Earth couldn’t hold him, I guess.” My attempt at a joke falls flat as tears pool in my eyes. I didn’t expect them, though I suppose I should have. My brother wraps an arm around my shoulders and squeezes. More tears come.
“You don’t have to be strong, V,” he whispers. “A rug was pulled out from under you, and I have been a pain in your ass.”
“Ya think?” I ask, my voice watery. I feel him smile as he squeezes me against his side.
“I’m sorry. I’ve been a selfish dick. I’m taking things seriously now—taking my life seriously. Thanks to you introducing me to Nate, I have a job. That was huge.”
I sniffle. His gratitude means a lot to me.
“Strength comes naturally to you. The rest of us have to work at it.”
“It doesn’t come naturally,” I argue. I practiced for years and years, and the habit somehow became part of my new personality.
“It’s okay to be emotional. That’s where real strength lies.” Walt releases me and smiles, his own eyes welling.
I swipe my cheeks. “I told Nate I should look into therapy again, but maybe I’ll go to a twelve-step instead.”
“Spend the money on therapy. Addiction isn’t worth it,” my brother says with a self-deprecating wink. We turn and stare down at the water in silence.
Nate and Dee leave the helm and peer over the side of the yacht a few minutes later. They’re still standing apart from Walt and me.
We spent the first four hours of the day apartment hunting. Walt and Dee asked if we could come along and offer our opinions. It was a peace offering I accepted. I went through about a million emotions while touring those dwellings with my brother and the woman who might someday be his wife. It was strange. I’m trying not to micromanage him but it’s difficult. All I can see when I look at the two of them is the potential mistakes they might make. No matter what Nate said about shoes already having dropped, I know there are always more shoes. Which makes it hard to stay comfortable for long.
Nate navigates Dee to the other side of the boat and points out a building. He starts describing its history, buying me more time with my brother. He always seems to know what I need.
“Things with Owen seem to be progressing,” Walt says. “You haven’t been home much lately.”
“I’m giving you space.” Guilt stabs me. “Do you need something? Groceries?”
“I need you to take some of the money you’ve been saving for me and pay yourself for my loafing on your couch,” he says.
“Excuse me?” I wiggle my pinky in my ear for effect. “Did I just hear you offer me money?”
“Don’t rub it in.” The wind kicks his longish hair around his head. “Dee told me I should have offered.”
Wow. One point for Dee.
“Don’t look so surprised. She’s a good person.”
I quirk my mouth in consideration. To be fair, I never believed she wasn’t a good person. I just worried she could be an anchor around my drowning brother’s neck.
“I might’ve judged her too harshly,” I admit.
