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“Yeah, well, in the back of my mind I thought you were dating Owen because he’s rich.”
I gasp.
“I don’t think that any longer,” he continues. “I didn’t live in rehab my entire life, sis. I remember when you dated. None of those trust-fund douchebags were like Nate.” Walt turns his head to check on Nate and Dee before addressing me again. “Nothing like him.”
“I’m nothing like I used to be, so that makes sense.”
This brings forth a big laugh from my brother.
“What?”
“You are exactly the same as you used to be. Driven. Talented. Playing it safe.”
“Excuse me?” I prop my hands on my hips, prepared to defend my former life. “How was being the vice president of marketing and data analysis at Dad’s firm ‘playing it safe’?”
Walt gives me a bland blink as if it should be obvious.
Should it?
“You should be running your own company. Instead you’re at some dinky city bureau working for a guy you don’t like.”
I huff, mainly because Nate said something similar while we sat at Grand Marin looking up at that beautiful office.
“That’s easy to say from the outside—” I start deflecting.
“I wasn’t always on the outside. You could be a billionaire on your own. I’m the one who needs corralling.”
“Is that what Dee’s doing?” I incline my chin in her direction. She might well be his first attempt at caring for someone other than himself.
“I’m in love with her. That’s all I know.”
God. Is it in the water?
“How do you know? That you love her?” Before he becomes defensive, I add, “I’m not patronizing you. I mean, really, how do you know when you’re in romantic love with someone?” I whisper the last part to avoid Nate overhearing.
“Well…” Walt squints at the sun, bright overhead thanks to a cloudless sky. I don’t know if he’s thinking of a way to explain, or if he’s unaccustomed to having to explain. Maybe he’s trying to find an appropriate way to explain it to me.
Finally his dark brown eyes return to mine. “At some point, you have to decide to let yourself feel again. I blocked out the hurt by using, but the problem is you block out the good too.” He sighs. “There was so much hurt at home, V. Mom was unhappy. Way before we found out what Dad was doing.”
“I know.” I worry I’m doomed to repeat her misery.
“You’re not like her,” he says, reading my mind. “If you open up again, you can have the good.”
“There’s more hurt than good in the world, little brother.”
“That’s one way to look at it.” He casts Dee a glance. His expression is earnest. Loving. The sickly sheen is gone and he’s put on a good ten pounds since he’s been in Ohio. Sobriety suits him.
“There’s more than one way to look at it?” I ask quietly.
“Many more ways than one,” he answers with a soft smile.
Dee must feel him watching her. She blows him a kiss. My heart pinches with what might be envy. Worry is there too, but at least another emotion has joined it.
I look past her to Nate and try to decide if he looks like a man in love. Or a man, as he put it, who is “falling” for me. Seems he built in some safeguards after all. He didn’t use the L-word.
Nate struts over, Dee skipping ahead of him. He looks as good in shorts and a sleeveless shirt as he does naked, which makes no sense. He just plain looks good. Maybe him looking good in spite of what he’s wearing, or that imperfect nose, is a sign I’m in love with him.
Hmm.
