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“It’s not that,” she interrupted.
How could she show up at his house and so casually break up with him? Had what they’d done together meant nothing to her? He’d missed her last night terribly, and while he’d lain in bed alone wishing she was next to him, she’d been...what? Plotting how to let him down easy? Planning on telling him she never wanted to sleep with him again?
“I’m going to try to explain this with as few swear words as possible.” Anger was the wrong emotion for this situation, but he couldn’t help himself. At least his warning elicited a reaction from her. Her hazel eyes grew wide and wary. “I’m not remotely done with you. I’m not letting you walk away like there’s nothing happening between us.” He’d been questioning everything he thought he knew about relationships since he and Hallie started hanging out. He’d obliterated his own boundary lines in the process of helping her walk over her own. He wouldn’t let her go easily, if ever.
“We have to stop sometime.”
Her glib response pissed him off more, which made him say exactly the wrong thing. “I upended my life for you.”
“Well, I’m so sorry for the inconvenience,” she said with a mirthless laugh.
“That came out wrong.” He put his hand to his forehead, trying to sort his thoughts and explain. “What I meant to say was that I stopped dating for you.” Shit. That sounded worse.
Her mouth dropped open, confirming he was digging a deeper hole the more he talked. “Good news, Gav. You are now free to date as many people as you’d like.” She turned for the door.
“Hallie, wait. That didn’t come out right, either.” God, why was it so hard to tell her what he knew? That she belonged with him—in his bed, in his life. That whatever had scared her off was something they could tackle together. “What I meant to say was—” he swallowed thickly, struggling to find the words “—you weren’t the only one breaking rules.”
She faced him, her gaze softening.
“We’re having fun,” he said, hoping like hell she’d agree. “Right?”
“We had fun.” Her voice was hollow. “But fun has a way of turning serious. How serious do you want to be with me?”
He took a literal step away from her, a fresh wave of fear oozing through him. “What do you mean?”
She gestured at the space between them. “Your single status is in grave danger if we keep doing what we’re doing.”
Ice slipped into his belly. In his mind, relationships had always been the enemy of freedom. Right now he could do what he wanted, when he wanted. And, he thought until two minutes ago that Hallie was on the same page as him. Willing to be in his bed and on his arm, but with no real commitment making them prisoners to each other.
Then he thought about where she’d spent the evening last night—with three very happily engaged or married women. It wasn’t hard to figure out what had happened. Hannah cooing over her trip to Paris. Presley and Cassandra chattering about wedding plans.
“You want more,” he said.
She pulled her shoulders back. Looked him in the eyes. When she spoke, her voice was calm and cool. “And you don’t.”
There was no elegant way to admit to that, so instead he said, “I like what we have, Hals. I thought we agreed not to label it.”
“I was wrong.” Her smile was sad instead of upset this time. “I want to go back to being friends with you. Or, well, start being friends with you. I don’t think I could bear it if we argued every time we saw each other. We are friends, right?”
“Of course,” he agreed as a sinking feeling hollowed out his gut. Friends wasn’t enough for him. “I take it this means you aren’t coming to my family’s house on Christmas Eve.”
“It would make things harder.” Warmth leaked into her gaze, briefly reminding him of every sensual hour he’d spent with her. He was going to miss that look. “We need space to make the transition work. Just for a while. I’m sure we’ll be back to normal soon enough.”
Before she walked out of his house, and apparently out of his life, he reached for her hand. “Hals.”
She turned.
“Are you sure?” He waited, his heart thrashing in his chest. Hope bubbled up inside him when she smiled but it died a quick death when she nodded her head. There wasn’t hope in her eyes, but resolution.
He glided his thumb over her hand, missing her already. “I want more than friendship with you, but if that’s my only option...”
He hazarded a glance at her, hoping she’d change her mind, run into his arms and tell him she was wrong. Instead, she said, “Thank you, Gavin.”
“Sure,” he said around a lump in his throat. Then she pulled her hand from his and left. He watched her car back out of his driveway, wanting more than anything to chase her, beg her if he had to, but he only stood and watched her go.
She wanted more. And more was the one thing not in his plans. More scared the crap out of him. There was no proof in his past suggesting he’d make a good boyfriend, let alone a good husband. He couldn’t ask Hallie to risk her own future when he might well fail at what his three brothers had been handling with alarming grace.
He took a look around at the high ceilings and expansive kitchen. His gargantuan new house mocked him. He’d built a veritable mansion with multiple rooms for himself. Hallie had just reminded him he was going to remain in it alone for a good long while.
