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He rubbed his chest again, the ache intensifying. This was ridiculous. He cared about her enough to let her take what she needed from him. She’d stepped into her own, like he’d wanted.
And, hell, what was he upset about? He’d had the best damn time of his life. He’d known going in that they would eventually move on. And it wasn’t like she hated him. She’d said herself she wanted to remain friends, that she wanted to work with him professionally. That, too, should’ve been enough.
So why isn’t it?
The ache in his chest wasn’t heartburn. It was regret. A whole truckload of it.
Hallie might still be in his life, but nothing would be the same. He could see her but not touch her. He could smile at her, but not flirt with her. And he would continue climbing into bed, beneath a giant painting of an ice cream sundae she’d chosen for him, without her by his side.
That sucked.
“Oh, honey! I’m so excited!” Eleanor Banks clapped her hands together. “We have to celebrate. I’m glad I baked a pie.”
It was a few days before Christmas Eve and Eleanor was wearing a gaudy reindeer sweater she’d knitted herself. As were Hallie and Hannah. “Tradition” in the Banks house was more a requirement.
Gram returned from the kitchen with three plates of chocolate pie balanced in both hands. She set two of the plates on the wide coffee table and lifted her own. She speared her pie with a fork, pausing before she ate a bite. “I wish your parents could be here to hear the news in person. But you know how they hate traveling during the holidays.”
Hallie wished the same. Her parents weren’t necessarily uninvolvedin her life, but they didn’t do things the way everyone else’s parents did. She didn’t resent them for it, but she did miss them. Now, in particular.
Hallie had been thinking a lot lately about what kind of parent she would be. What traditions to start for her own family. Which made her think of Gavin, and sent a dagger straight through her heart.
When she’d arrived at his house, she’d fully intended on telling him she was pregnant. By the time they were having that horrible conversation, she hadn’t had the courage. When she’d practiced the breakup speech in the mirror, she thought she knew what to expect. She thought he’d smile, offer a “Come on, Hals, you don’t have to do this,” and then hug her and acquiesce.
That hadn’t been what had happened. She’d felt her own heart breaking when he’d been upset, when he’d gently taken her hand. When he’d argued passionately instead of casually.
Meanwhile, her heart had been crumbling. It’d taken every bit of her willpower not to burst into tears and rush into his arms. He’d have let her come back. He’d have taken her to bed and held her, and he would have told her everything was going to be okay. But she knew something he didn’t. She was pregnant with his child, and he was not going to be “okay” with that.
So. She’d chickened out. Once he’d agreed he didn’t want more, what else had there been to say? They’d originally agreed to keep things easy. A baby was about a million levels up from easy.
“You’re going to be an amazing mom,” Hannah said as she speared her own pie with a fork.
“Well, of course she is.” Gram’s hot-pink lips parted into a sweet smile. “She was raised by me. I’m a great mom.”
“The best.” Hallie squeezed her Gram’s hand. Eleanor Banks had raised twin granddaughters, given them her name and balanced a life of fame and fortune. It was admirable. “You are the perfect example.”
“Don’t be too hard on your own mama.” Gram waved pink fingernails matching her lipstick. “My daughter was always a bit of the gypsy. She was born that way. There’s nothing wrong with dancing to your own tune. And she gave me a chance to raise you girls. What a blessing.”
“We feel the same way,” Hannah said, echoing Hallie’s thoughts.
“Hallie, you will be the kind of mom you were meant to be. Why, your child is going to be smothered with love given how close the Sutherlands are.” Gram lifted her manicured eyebrows. “How is Gavin taking the news?”
Hallie had purposely left out that she hadn’t told Gavin. Hannah knew, of course. She’d hounded Hallie until she’d admitted she hadn’t had the courage to tell him.
“He’ll be a wonderful father,” Gram said supportively, reaching for Hallie’s hand.
Hallie agreed wholeheartedly. But when she opened her mouth to speak, she burst into tears. When she was able to pull herself together, she recited a garbled version of what happened at Gavin’s house three days ago. How she’d shown up to tell him. How, even though he was visibly shaken, he hadn’t offered her the more she so desperately needed.
“I couldn’t tell him about the baby. I was afraid...” Hallie’s voice cut off and she realized there wasn’t any more to say. Afraid summed up everything.
Eleanor looked to Hannah, who translated while stroking Hallie’s back. “She broke up with him because she thought it was better to do it sooner than later. Especially with the holidays around the corner. He told her he was not the settling down kind, so she figured it would be best to handle the pregnancy by herself.” Hannah wrapped an arm around Hallie’s shoulders. “I reminded her she was far from alone.”
“That’s right, sweetheart. Hannah and I are here for you.” Gram patted Hallie’s leg. “Don’t cry on your pie. Life throws you all sorts of curveballs, but you are a Banks. You can handle this with one eye shut, one hand tied behind your back and while hopping on one leg.”
Hallie laughed through her tears, her grandmother’s silly visual helping to lighten her mood. Hallie wasn’t alone—she’d never been alone. “Thank you, Gram.”
“You’re welcome, sweetheart. Do you want Hannah and me to sing to you?”
“Always.” A duet from her sister and her grandmother would make her feel better. She would tell Gavin the truth—that they had made a baby—soon enough. She’d gone to the doctor yesterday to make triple sure she was pregnant, even after taking a second home pregnancy test the morning she’d shown up at Gavin’s house. Every test had been positive.
