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“It wasn’t wasted. She’s your best friend,” I argue, because there has to be a silver lining for me and Talia. There has to be.
“Yeah, but we could have been having sex that entire time. It’s Nate’s fault, anyway.”
“Me?” Nate asks. “What the hell did I do?”
“You came to my house that night blubbering over Vivian—”
“I don’t blubber.”
“—after you confessed your undying love for her and she rejected you.”
“Yeah, well, at least I put myself out there. Which is more than I can say for The Art of Stoicism over here.” He gestures at me.
“I’m not in love with Talia,” I say loud enough to stop their bickering. I hate how those words tasted. Like something sour I had to spit out of my mouth. I hate how untrue they sounded too. It’d be a fuck of a lot easier not to love her. “I like her. A lot. That’s it. There’s nothing more to say.”
Neither of my brothers are intimidated by my growling. They exchange looks that communicate they’re giving up. Fine with me. I don’t need a proper surrender, just silence.
“Give me the cards,” Benji says.
“Forget it. I’m dealing.” I tip my chin. “Someone front me more chips.”
“You good for it?” asks Benji, the smartass. I don’t answer him.
“What’s wild?” Nate asks.
“Nothing. We’re playing it the way it’s intended to be played, where every card is exactly as it appears.”
If only the rest of life worked that way too.
Since I droveNate to Benji’s house after dropping off Talia for her girls’ night, I take him back too.
“I do not know what to do with all this money,” he humble-brags as he counts the bills. “Here.” He stuffs a one-hundred-dollar bill into the cup holder. “Buy your girl something nice. I have an embarrassment of riches.”
“You are an embarrassment to the riches.”
He slaps me on the arm as he laughs at my lame joke. We ride in silence for a moment before he says, “Glad it’s you. I mean, if it was Benji, I’d be glad it was him, but…I’m glad it’s you.”
I don’t know what to say. A tsunami of hectic feelings has been pummeling me lately. I swallow past a bowling ball lodged in my throat. Hopefully he stops talking before I embarrass myself.
“When Vivian and I were planning the wedding”—he starts, definitely not done talking—“she said something I’ll never forget. She said, ‘If you wouldn’t have been brave enough to give me your heart, I’d have held on to mine for safekeeping forever.’”
Damn.You’d have to be a heartless bastard not to feel the sentiment behind that. It’s one of the sweetest fucking things I’ve ever heard, and I’m not a sap.
“I believe if you feel it, you should say it,” Nate continues. “That hasn’t worked out well for me always, given my birth mother is a piece of work, but for the most part, being clear about what I want, when I want it, has served me. If Talia is it for you, she’s worth putting your ass on the line.”
“And if she believes she’s not for me?” I shift in my seat, not sure I want to hear the answer. I’m not accustomed to heart-to-hearts with my brother about the women I’m dating.
“Then I recommend Benji’s house for shots. He has a comfortable guest bed.”
“You were a miserable son of a bitch then, Nate.” I glance over at him. He watches out the window, offering a solemn nod as if he’s remembering how dark those days were. “Your hindsight might be clear as a bell now, but if you knew it wouldn’t have turned out, would you go back and risk it again?”
Rather than admit I’m making a damn good point, which is irritating even though I didn’t expect him to, he says, “I am who I am, Arch. And maybe that’s the takeaway here. You do you, bro. You’re the only one who can.”
He grins like he knows he’s way too old to use the phrase “you do you.” We arrive at his place, and I park in the driveway. He walks in ahead of me, and the second the door is open, I hear a lot of female laughter, and one delicate snort.
In the living room, on the large, slouchy couch, Vivian is doubled over, Calista leaning into her, laughing just as hard. Cris is on the floor holding her stomach, Talia is next to her, tears running down her face, and in a fit of laughter as well.
“What’s this?” Nate asks, a smile spreading his lips as he goes to Vivian. I’m smiling too. I have no idea what’s so funny, but these overjoyed women are contagious.
