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“Thanks, I guess.”
How can I not smile when Autumn and Clementine are near? They bring a joy into my life I never imagined possible.
Yet, it seems as if Autumn still has hesitations about living together.
Almost a month has passed since I gifted her a key to my house. Since I set up a room for Clementine. And yet, I still don’t have her in my bed every night.
Is it wrong for me to expect such things? Yes, I suppose so. Considering we have only been together roughly four months, asking Autumn to uproot her and Clementine’s life for my own selfish needs would be a dick move.
Doesn’t mean I don’t want to, though.
Anyone else in my shoes would be grateful to have what I do. Autumn and Clementine stay at the house four or five nights a week. Practically full time. And on the nights they don’t stay, I sleep in my bed alone.
Since the case closed with Leo, and since learning Autumn’s parents were behind the damage to her car and the notes, there doesn’t seem to be a need for extra eyes.
And it sucks.
Don’t get me wrong. I am beyond grateful she and Clementine are safe. In fact, they are more than safe. Safer than before the trial began.
When Leo and Autumn’s attorneys spoke after the hearing, something unexpected and surprising happened. Not only did Leo pay back child support, interest, and Autumn’s attorney fees; he also signed away his parental rights. Theresa had to explain it to Autumn several times. We also learned Autumn’s father threatened to throw Leo into a shitstorm with local media about his abandoned child. Leo is by no means a celebrity, but when you own a massive hotel chain, news spreads quickly in the community. The news may have ruined the life he’d built.
Basically, Leo told his attorney he didn’t want a similar occurrence to happen to Autumn or Clementine in the future. He didn’t want someone to try and use his paternity to hurt either one of them. He never had ill intent and honestly didn’t realize what he was getting himself into. I don’t know how much of that I believe.
Either way, at least Autumn sleeps better at night knowing no one can take her daughter from her.
“Is the roast ready?” Jillian asks as she finishes smashing the potatoes.
I open the oven and jab the pot roast with a thermometer. After the needle hits the temperature Mom deems as the perfect roast, I grab the potholders and take it out. “Ready.”
We carry the food dishes to the table then holler for everyone to come eat. Dad, Anton, and the kids rush to the table. Once we are in our usual seats, Mom tells everyone how grateful she is to have them at the table again. Then everyone fills their plates.
Dad encourages Lex to be mischievous while Clementine giggles. He nonchalantly picks up a green bean with his finger and pretends like he will throw it at Mom. A minute later, Lex tosses a green bean and Jasmine snaps at Dad to not goad him. I don’t remember Dad being such an instigator when we were kids. No matter, he loves making the little ones laugh.
Although it’s only March, Jillian rambles on to Mom about the fall fashion line the store will receive soon. Turtlenecks and scarves and gloves. Wool jackets and thermal-lined pants. Honestly, fall and winter attire in Florida is a strange concept. The actual fall season feels like a mild summer. And winter resembles what northerners experience as fall. Most clothing stores in Florida sell swimsuits year-round. No joke, we could get away with wearing fall attire in the winter without discomfort.
Beside me, Autumn focuses her attention on Jillian. Every now and again, Jillian pipes up and asks what she wears during different seasons with her rockabilly style. Genuinely intrigued by Autumn’s fashion. How she wears it with ease, although not many local stores carry her style of clothes.
I lean back in my chair, eat my dinner, and absorb the ease with which Autumn talks with my family. Autumn and Clementine both. As if they have been sitting at this table and sharing meals with the Thompsons for years. Watching them blend in without effort has my heart stuttering before it takes off in a sprint.
With each passing day, our relationship grows stronger. Our bond more inseparable. We gravitate toward each other like the moon does the earth. As if finally where we are meant to be. In synergy. Two halves of one soul coming back together.
In the same breath, I miss her. On the nights she and Clementine don’t sleep under the same roof as me. When Autumn doesn’t lie next to me in bed. I miss her weight on my chest and her breath on my skin. Miss her soft snores and the twitch of her fingers when she dreams.
Do I wish the two of them lived with me full time? Hell yes. Do I question why they aren’t? Also, yes.
The last thing I want to do is pressure Autumn. Especially after the debacle with Leo and her parents.
But I also can’t stand not knowing if she wants to take the next step. If she wants to move in together. Or if she wants to keep things as they are.
Is it too soon to live together? This question has popped into my head more times than I care to count. Perhaps timing keeps her hesitant. Four months isn’t long in the grand scheme. Some couples live apart for years before moving in together. But some move in within weeks.
“What do you think, Jonas?” Mom asks, and I have no idea what I missed.
“Sorry, was zoned out a minute. What’d you ask?”
“If you wanted to join us for Easter. Nothing fancy. Egg hunt, sugary treats, and dinner.”
I glance over at Autumn to see her watching me with a shy smile. “Sounds like fun, Mom. Just tell us when to be here.”
