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* * *
Every morningthis week we’ve met at Perky’s before going our separate ways for the day. And every evening we text back and forth, getting to know every little thing about each other. I’ve just told him that, out of us girls, Meg is the most like our momma. And he said something that made me pause.
I read his text a second time, taking a bite of a strawberry-glazed doughnut while sprawled across my bed. Bosco’s on his back next to me, eyeing my sugary treat with love in his eyes. I break off a little piece and share it with him. “But no more. I’ll never admit it to anyone else, but you are getting a little chunky.”
He pouts in that way that dogs do—eyes wide and pitiful—but I stay strong, shifting my focus back to my cell.
ARLO: I’m sorry you had to grow up without your mom. I know how hard that is. But I’m glad you had your sisters.
He knows how hard it is to grow up without a mom, but he has two baby sisters, so he has a mom still.
KIDA: Did something happen between you and your mom? You haven’t mentioned her much.
My cell rings with an incoming FaceTime call. I answer it, holding it above my head and smiling up at Arlo’s gorgeous face. “Hey,” I say.
“Hey, I ahh… The deal with my mom is, ahh… It’s easier to explain like this than over text. Is that okay?” he asks.
He’s in his bed, too, shirtless, which is very distracting. But the unease in his voice is enough to keep my full attention on the conversation.
“Yeah, of course. I didn’t mean to pry. If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine.”
“No, it’s not that. It’s a bit pathetic really, but ah… my mom didn’t want me unless having me came with a huge diamond ring and my dad’s family’s fat bank account. She and my dad had been together for a couple of years, and she figured if she got pregnant he’d give up on the notion of supporting and making a name for himself and fall back on his family’s wealth.” He pauses as he runs his hand through his tussled hair. “Anyway, when my dad proposed with the ring he could afford on his own, and the promise to work hard to build a dream life together, she bounced. He begged her not to terminate, and the moment I was born, she left. Signed over full custody to him and never looked back,” he says, followed by a hard swallow.
I can’t even imagine. What kind of person could do that? I don’t know what to say as I shift into a sitting position against my headboard. “Arlo, I’m… That’s so awful. I’m sorry you had to experience that. And nothing about that is pathetic. I don’t know why you’d even think that.”
He shrugs. “Babies are these fucking magical little creatures that you can’t help but fall in love with the moment you see them. But she…” He shakes his head, his eyes shining in the light from the lamp on his nightstand.
I wish more than anything we had this conversation in person. I want to crawl into his lap and hold him tight. “Her actions speak to her character, and hers alone. Not you, Arlo. What she did had nothing to do with you. She sounds like an incredibly selfish woman who you’re better off without.”
A small smile curls the edge of his mouth. “Logically, I know that. And ninety-nine percent of the time I believe it. For years I told my dad I couldn’t give less of a shit about her. I didn’t need nor want her in my life. And that’s still true. But every now and then, especially since my sisters were born, I wonder what it would have been like to have a mother’s love.”
My heart aches for him because I understand exactly how he feels. But our situations aren’t exactly the same; I’ve never doubted for second how much my momma loved me. And she didn’t choose to leave me like his, but the end result is the same. We needed a mom, and we didn’t have one.
I sniffle and wipe at my stingy eyes. “I get it. And it sucks. I wish you’d had a big family like me to help you through that.”
He shakes his head, smiling fondly now. “I did, and I do. Not siblings, but others. My dad more than made up for my shitty incubator. I have a good and extremely privileged life. I know if circumstances were different, if I didn’t have an incredible and selfless dad, I could have been one of the at-risk kids with a list of issues a mile long that I see at the community center.”
“That’s the long answer, isn’t it. About your job,” I say.
“Yeah, it is.”
How can my heart go from aching to filling with admiration for him within such a short span of time? I like this guy so much, but it’s more than that. I respect him. And I understand him. And I am so happy I mistook him for my skipper that day because now I get to have him in my life.
* * *
It’sSaturday morning and I’m having a bit of a freakout.
“If you’re that worried about it, tell him you don’t want to do it,” Snow says.
I huff. “I do want to, though. I’m just… What if I screw it up?”
“Keeds, I honestly don’t think there’s anything you could do to get rid of that guy. I’ve seen the way he looks at you,” Ariel adds as she pulls into our regular parking spot out the front of Perky’s. “Just be honest with him and tell him you’re worried about how it will go.”
“But they’re all in there right now. It’s too late to say anything,” I snap. “I’m going to Kida this up so bad. I can feel it.”
Snow gets out of the car, slams her door closed, then swings the back passenger door open and glowers at me. I flinch, and she leans forward, getting in my face. “You are Kidagakash fucking Hunter. You are not a screwup. You are a beautiful young woman with more talent in your pinky finger than most of the miscreants in this town. Now get your ass out of this car, walk into that café, and own your shit.”
I blink at her. As far as pep talks go, that one was pretty good. I smile at my hardass big sister, slide off the backseat, and drop to my feet in front of her. “Thanks,” I say, giving her a quick hug.
