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“You don’t know what you are doing, Shelby. You are ruining the best thing that could ever happen to the two of us.”
“No. You’re wrong. I know precisely what I am doing, Zeke. I’m righting my wrongs. I should never have met with you in private, and I should have refused to work with you, period. I got wrapped up in this sexual tension, and I shouldn’t have. You can blame it all on me.”
His laugh was strangled, and he shook his head, “Yeah, I will. Thanks for the best fuck of my life, Shelby.” He turned and started toward the door, stopping only to collect his cellphone and keys.
I wanted to run after him, but I didn’t. Instead, I let his words settle over my cracked heart, and when he slammed the door behind him, I jumped and then sank to the floor to cry.
* * *
Friday night, I made a rash decision and headed to my condo at the shore. I needed to get away and think about everything. I knew that I was supposed to talk to Diane, but I couldn’t face her right now. I needed to figure out a way to explain what I had done in a way that wouldn’t hurt her too badly. Was there such a way?
I hadn’t heard from Zeke, and I was thankful and frustrated about that. I knew he was hurt, but his pain was nothing compared to what Diane would feel at my betrayal of our friendship. In all of my years, I had never done such a thing. Even thinking a friend’s man was attractive crossed lines in my mind. What had gotten into me that I had not only crossed this line, but I had plowed right the hell over it? What was it about Zeke that called so profoundly to me?
Was it the bad boy that I saw in him? Had something in me somehow known that he would open my eyes to things?
I stared out over the water, the cold wind gusted against me from my perch on my balcony, but I welcomed it. It kept me grounded. It reminded me that I had done my friend wrong. I needed to suffer for this. I deserved to suffer.
