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The second I close the door; I hear my phone vibrating on the desk. I sag against the door, leaning my head back and staring at it.
Let it ring.
I imagine it’s my mom again. Telling me to come home. Telling me she’s worried for me.
I’m worried too. But I don’t want to run and hide away. I don’t want to go back to what I was before this, but I don’t know where I can go from here.
I slowly lower myself to the floor and as my ass hits it, my phone vibrates again.
I just want to be left alone.
But what if it’s Nathan? My heart slams and I quickly scramble to get up. I won’t answer, I just want to know if it’s him. He messaged last night, and I was able to control myself. But now I’m like a junkie, eager to see if he still wants me.
Thoughts and accusations ricochet in my head, whispering that I’m weak, but I ignore them. Only to swallow my own pathetic wishes when I see it is just my mother. I can’t talk to her right now. Not when I don’t have a plan. She wants to protect me and take care of everything for me and I know she loves me, but I don’t want to live in a bubble all my life. I love her, and she knows that, but I need to live my own life.
I toss my phone onto the desk and it hits the edge of the stack of papers Nancy gave me. I glance at the top one.
Page Six of the New York Post
Isit over before it even started?
That’swhat fans of the now-lovebirds Nathan Hart and Harlow May are wondering.
According to those close to the pair, Harlow’s just a sweet girl caught up in the bright lights of the set and swept away by her former high school sweetheart.
But the feelings aren’t mutual, sources say. He hasn’t done a single thing to show his commitment and close friends know that the "dating” label is only to save face. She’s naïve to think he still wants her. It’s a relationship of convenience for him. The moment production wraps up, he’ll be on to the next pretty little thing. There’s nothing that indicates otherwise.
Seems like Mr. Hart isn’t quite the sweetheart she remembered and he’s only passing the time with Miss May.
It’sthe same one that was on the table when I walked into the conference room.
Humiliated. That’s how I feel. Easily summed up into one word.
Even the rest of the world knows that I’m stupid. It’s written in black and white. Of course it’s convenient for him to put up with me rather than deal with the mess.
Isn’t that what he’s always done? Stupid. I’ve always been stupid and it seems like it will never change.
“I’m only stupid when it comes to him,” I say under my breath.
I clear my throat and turn off vibrate on my phone. My head’s killing me from lack of sleep. My body, in general, is exhausted. I’m emotionally a wreck.
Emotional is not a substantial enough word. What’s wrong with me?
My throat gets tight as I set the phone down and I see a message from Nathan pop up.Are you done?
A warmth flows through me, almost relaxing. As if knowing he’s thinking of me eases some of the pain etched deeply into my soul.
He texts me again before I can justify texting him back.I want to see you before you leave.
It’s easier to just cut things off and run.
It’s what he did to me and I understand why.
If I see him, I’ll cave.
So instead, I run.
CHAPTER21
