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Chapter 34
Olivia walked swiftly down the hallway in Essington Manor, smoothing out the creases in her new pale blue gown, checking that everything was in order. It was time to go to Emma’s wedding to Lord Turnbury in the tiny church just above the hill and they were waiting upon Alexander to descend the staircase. Grandpapa and Mama were already waiting in the carriage.
Olivia lingered in the foyer, gazing at the staircase, tears filling her eyes. It had only been four weeks since her own whirlwind wedding and now it was time for her very best friend in the entire world to walk down the aisle, too. Harold’s parents had agreed to host the wedding in Kent, near Emma’s childhood home, but the catch was that Emma and her new husband must make their home in Somerset with the family for at least a twelvemonth.
Olivia knew that Emma’s dream that she and her beloved Harold would live in Kent, close to Essington Manor, might never eventuate. It was something that saddened Olivia immensely, the thought that her best friend would be living so far away from her. And it saddened Emma, as well, almost casting a pall over her special day.
We can go and visit often, thought Olivia, her heart twisting.It is not insurmountable.
Her sad thoughts about losing Emma were suddenly shattered by the sound of Alexander clattering down the staircase. Her husband was in the act of pulling his arm through his black velvet jacket. Olivia also noted that his dark hair needed a comb.
Olivia’s heart somersaulted, the same way as it always did when she saw her husband. The intense physical reaction to his presence had not diminished in the month since their wedding—in fact, it had intensified. She felt in thrall to him, as if she were under an erotic spell that she could not ever hope to break.
Their lovemaking had only gotten better since their wedding night. They seemed to have not only strong desire for each other, but a powerful physical bond. Everything was easy when they were together in the bedroom. She could forget herself entirely, become swept away in their mutual longing for each other’s bodies. It was only afterwards that her mind would become stormy again, and her heart sore, at the thought that despite their carnal connection he did not love her. He was tender with her, often overcome, but he still had never uttered those words.
It did not help that he could not seem to keep his hands off her, either. Wherever they were—even if they were around other people—he constantly touched her, even if he had to be surreptitious about it. A fact which left her in a semi-permanent state of arousal almost all of the time. It was most embarrassing. And thrilling.
Her physical reaction to her husband’s presence was tempered this time, however, by her irritation at his tardiness.
“What have you been doing?” she hissed, stamping a foot on the marble floor. “We are going to be late for my darling Emma’s wedding!”
Alexander grinned. When he reached the foyer, he put his hands upon her waist, spinning her around. Olivia laughed despite herself as she felt his lips against her neck, his warm breath.
“Do we have to go?” he whispered. “Could not we just go upstairs and while away the morning in a different manner entirely?”
Olivia slapped at his hands, but she could not help smiling. “You are shameless. Now let us get into the carriage before Grandpapa and Mama decide to take off without us.”
He stepped away, but he kept staring at her. “I mean it, Olivia. I would much rather be in bed with you than anywhere else.” He paused. “Well, almost anywhere else. I must admit I am rather itching to get behind the wheel of a ship again. Other than that, I am enthralled by you.”
Olivia blushed fiercely. He was teasing her, of course, but his words as well as his touch were doing crazy things to her equilibrium.
If only he meant it,she thought wistfully.If only he were truly enthralled by love for me. But he has never uttered the words to me. Not once.
She had never uttered them to him either, even though her heart sometimes felt like it might burst. Once or twice in the languid aftermath of lovemaking, it had almost slipped off her tongue, but she had managed to catch it before it happened. The last thing she wanted to do was ruin what worked so well between them by burdening him with her feelings. Feelings he plainly did not share.
Oh, she knew that he was intimately enthralled with her. And perhaps he had even grown to like her. He certainly acted like it. He laughed at her jokes, teased her lightly, listened to her intently when she spoke. But that was all a far cry from being in love.
“Well, you will listen to my command, then, if you are my thrall,” she said, raising her chin, ignoring the pounding of her heart. “We must get into the carriage this very minute. Or else we shall be later arriving than the bride.”
“It could not be any worse a delay than what happened on our wedding day,” he said, rolling his eyes. “That accursed carriage wheel. You know, they never did find the bolt. It vanished into thin air.”
Olivia walked towards the door. She was distracted and only half listening to him. “Yes. A strange thing. Let us move quickly, Alexander. I simply cannot wait to see Emma’s gown. Nor give her a kiss for luck.”
***
The day sped by in a dream. Emma looked stunning in her pale lemon and white silk gown with orange blossom threaded through her hair. But the most memorable thing was the way in which the newly married couple could not take their eyes off each other. The fact that they were head over heels in love with each other was patently obvious for all to see.
At the wedding breakfast, just before the happy couple left, Olivia made sure to pull her friend aside. Emma was still glowing. Her friend was on cloud nine. It warmed Olivia’s heart to see it.
“Look at you,” she whispered, taking Emma’s hands in her own. “The blushing bride. Do you recall when we used to play brides when we were just girls?”
Emma laughed. “I do. We would dress up and trail down the staircase, clutching posies of forget me nots, with white doilies used as veils on our heads.”
Olivia sighed wistfully at the memory. “How simple it all seemed back then,” she said, in a quiet voice. “How certain we were that we would marry our one true love.” She hesitated, her eyes shining with tears. “And now that time has come for you, my dearest friend.”
Emma smiled kindly. “And for you, dearest. I know you are in love with your new husband. I can see it in your eyes and the way you turn to him, seeking him. Surely your confusion about your feelings towards him has resolved itself?”
Olivia’s heart constricted. “Idolove him,” she whispered. “But he does not love me, Emma. Not in the same way.”
