AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Chapter 16
Walking back to the house with Ann, Matilda felt hopeful. She had just met with Aaron in secret, and they made progress in discussing a way to escape the grip that Addison had on him.
It was still a situation that she felt somewhat uncertain about, and she wasn’t sure if it was more her own problem than anything. Matilda was never a jealous person before, but seeing Addison touch Aaron, seeing them talking in the very spot that felt like a special place between herself and Aaron, was enough to finally give her feelings of jealousy. And those feelings had led to others.
One of them was doubt. She doubted that Aaron was completely past his love for Addison. How could someone just turn off an emotion they once had for someone? The human heart was not that simple, and it scared Matilda beyond belief. She was entrusting her own heart with Aaron. She was essentially believing that they could have a future together, but if his heart was not in the right place, then it would all be for nothing.
What they had spoken about in their secret meetingwas Matilda giving Aaron some recommendation letters for his family. They would ensure that his family could leave Addison’s employment and seek new positions before she finished her visit to Charles and his family. As with anything, the plan could fall through. But the likelihood was low.
The plan would free Aaron’s family of Addison’s metaphorical shackles that also lend a hand to Aaron feeling an attachment to her as well. Matilda's concern was how much of that attachment to her was due in part to her threats or his own heart? She was a pretty woman despite her personality. All her coldness aside, Matilda could understand why someone like Aaron would be attracted to her. But, she had to put that aside somehow and just trust him, as hard as that was.
“Who do you think is more complex, men or woman?” Matilda asked Ann as the grass crunched beneath their feet amongst the sound of birds chirping and staff speaking to each other by the windows of Hardon House.
Ann seemingly gave her question some thought and then replied, “Woman are complex, but men make themselves more complex.”
Matilda agreed with that whole-heartedly but said nothing in return. She somehow knew that Ann already understood where she was coming from with her question.
“You cannot force a man’s heart. You cannot force anyone’s heart, for that matter. And you know what that means?”
“What?”
“It means that things of that nature are far out of our control Matilda. And when we cannot control things, all you can do is let them be what they will be while loving or hating that thing.”
“I wish my mom spoke to me the same way you do.”
Ann looked at Matilda. Her eyes almost looked like they were going to fill up with tears. “That is very kind of you. I do hope that my words often lay an egg in your ears.” She sighed. “Your mom still loves you. I think that most of the way she deals with you is not even about you. It is more about her. But I have already said far too much.”
Matilda knew that Ann was just trying to help but still felt somewhat angered by the subject. “If and when the day comes that I have children, whether it be with Aaron, Charles or some merchant from the sea, I will never treat my children the way she treats me. If they love books, I will provide them with all the books the world has to offer.”
Ann patted Matilda’s shoulder, probably realizing that she had touched upon a tricky subject. “I have no doubt in my mind that you will one day make a great mother.”
As they continued to walk, silence filling the air, Matilda thought back again to her plan concerning Aaron. She was happy that she could rid Addison from his family. No matter what happened between them both in the future, she at least knew that she did that.
The thought made her want to confront Addison. The more she thought of the situation, the more her legs stiffened while they walked. She clenched her cheek, angry at the fact that anyone would take advantage of and use Aaron in the way she did. He did not deserve it. Aaron was the kindest, most caring man she had ever known and for someone to hurt him like that made Matilda want to fight for him even more. The anger was hard to control. That’s how she knew that she cared about him more than anything. All the elements that Ann said let a person know that they were in love; Matilda had them for Aaron ten-fold. No one would ever understand, but she didn’t need anyone to.
“You should think of some way to get your mother to let you marry Aaron.”
Matilda could not believe the words had just come out of Ann’s mouth. She must have seen it all too. It was a love that transcended both Matilda and Aaron, apparently. “I never thought that I would hear anyone support him and I.”
They were getting closer to the main entrance, but Matilda didn’t want to reach it because she felt the conversation was just getting good.
“I have never seen you happier than when you are with Aaron. Even when you are reading. That is something that cannot go to waste. It is made of the very things that I told you about not too long ago. And, I know that I take the side of your mother from time to time. I cannot do that when it comes to your future as you are my friend. I know Aaron would keep you happy until the end of time.
“That really means a lot to me, Ann. But I do not know how to even tell them. You know how they are. They would not care for my feelings towards him. They don’t seem to focus much on the magic of things. They deal more with what is right in front of them in the world. Things are like mathematics to them.”
Ann laughed as they reached the entrance to the Hardon house. They both stood outside for a moment to finish their discussion. “Remember, they were once young and in love too. Your mother may seem like someone who does not dwell in her feelings, and for many things, that is correct, but that does not mean she does not have them. She does, and you are her daughter. You always speak about hope; maybe you just need to keep that sentiment when it comes to your parents. I don’t know the answer, but I’m certain that you will figure it out.”
When they parted ways, Matilda headed back to her room, pondering ways that she could confess her love for Aaron. It just seemed so impossible. Words had not seemed to penetrate her mother as of late. There was no getting through to her. She was so passionate about her getting together with Charles. How was she to undo that sentiment? It did not help that she had been in punishment so recently.
When she got to her room, she immediately went to her favourite place—the window. She could see Aaron tending to the horses, and it gave her the motivation to think harder. Matilda wanted nothing more but to have a future with him. It was all that she wanted, and it needed to happen. The answers were not coming to her, but she had a hope that they would. Hope never betrayed her.
***
Later that night, Matilda headed downstairs to dinner wearing one of the dresses that her mother loved on her. It had red lace on the shoulders and around the waist. It was a dress that her mother had designed for her maybe a year ago, and Matilda had never worn it. She knew that it angered her mother, but she let the dress sit in her closet for over twelve months. The idea of wearing it to dinner was to try and make peace. If she could get on her mother’s good side, then maybe it would be easier to break the news that she had fallen for the boy tending to the stables.
As she walked the halls, her heart beat fast, and her breath grew shallow. It just did not seem like it would work, none of it. And that was scary. Marrying Charles had become like some sort of jail she was being sentenced to, and every day little by little, time decreased for her. That feeling of running out of time only made her nerves worse by the day.
Matilda entered the dining room for dinner. It always amazed her how contrasting it could be to the dinners that had guests. Unlike when Addison had been there for dinner, her mother sat at the table with no smile. Her father seemed rather bored as usual, and of course, there was no music, the chandelier was off, and the food, although still in abundance, seemed lacking in variety; one meat, a lot of greens, and rice.
